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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Social isolation; social uphill climb

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am

I dont know where to go our who to be or who to become yet; in order to have a social life and be myself. I just had a great experience; A car was coming out of a church parking lot; I thought; why does it have to come out while Im walking. I stopped; I waited from a great distance; and an unusual feeling came over me. It was a sense of pride and power; I did not have to confront the car; I was at such a distance; that I was in control but did not have to interact with it; It felt normal; for a moment I felt in control of my life; not having to confront anything.
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I was headed to a night 12 step meeting; I got upstairs to the meeting; heard the yelling and laughter and just stopped. I thought; this is not me; and its not what Im looking for; never has been; I dont need to “ fit in” I just need to be myself; where can I do this. Im now curious of where. Thats the big issue inside my imagination; where; and Ill use the laws of attracting and scripting to see if I cant create a script off where Im suppose to meet people and see what happens.
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Ive been getting frustrated with the laws of attaction lately; because it seems that nothing is showing up.
I will try it with social stuff. See myself invited to parties; see myself meeting the kind of women I want to meet as social situations. see myself in better social situations.
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Ive tried it with money; and nothing showed up; nor houses or cars or women or anything. So; Im getting skeptical. I dont know.
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I guess Ill have to get better at being a manifest’r. ITs hard; I have to believe first; thats the crazy part. Im not sure where to go; Ive told the universe; where am I suppose to go to meet all these new people; where. where do I fit in; where. clues please.
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At this point Im getting old and tired. In a while; Ill be to old to date or do anything else. I dont know.
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I just need to rest and have a break; its like isolation is my friend; but isolation is not my friend; my life is just waisting away; Im not sure where to go or what to do about it; I keep asking the universe for help and Im not getting any help or any answers.
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Im getting mad. Ill keep at it.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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