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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (956)
Archives
- July 2019
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Social isolation; social uphill climb

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am

I dont know where to go our who to be or who to become yet; in order to have a social life and be myself. I just had a great experience; A car was coming out of a church parking lot; I thought; why does it have to come out while Im walking. I stopped; I waited from a great distance; and an unusual feeling came over me. It was a sense of pride and power; I did not have to confront the car; I was at such a distance; that I was in control but did not have to interact with it; It felt normal; for a moment I felt in control of my life; not having to confront anything.
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I was headed to a night 12 step meeting; I got upstairs to the meeting; heard the yelling and laughter and just stopped. I thought; this is not me; and its not what Im looking for; never has been; I dont need to “ fit in” I just need to be myself; where can I do this. Im now curious of where. Thats the big issue inside my imagination; where; and Ill use the laws of attracting and scripting to see if I cant create a script off where Im suppose to meet people and see what happens.
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Ive been getting frustrated with the laws of attaction lately; because it seems that nothing is showing up.
I will try it with social stuff. See myself invited to parties; see myself meeting the kind of women I want to meet as social situations. see myself in better social situations.
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Ive tried it with money; and nothing showed up; nor houses or cars or women or anything. So; Im getting skeptical. I dont know.
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I guess Ill have to get better at being a manifest’r. ITs hard; I have to believe first; thats the crazy part. Im not sure where to go; Ive told the universe; where am I suppose to go to meet all these new people; where. where do I fit in; where. clues please.
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At this point Im getting old and tired. In a while; Ill be to old to date or do anything else. I dont know.
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I just need to rest and have a break; its like isolation is my friend; but isolation is not my friend; my life is just waisting away; Im not sure where to go or what to do about it; I keep asking the universe for help and Im not getting any help or any answers.
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Im getting mad. Ill keep at it.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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