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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (917)
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- June 2019
going to meetings; Yuk
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:55 am
social is coming back; but its slow and about thinking
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:00 am
intimacy 3
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:26 am
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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Social interactions

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Oct 02, 2017 3:42 pm

Social interactions
.
its embarrasing
.
When young, I little social or physical interactions with anyone! I had some love from my father; but it was fake; it was attention from a sociopath/narcissist; it wasn't real; it was about the other person who was giving the attention; they were not trying to help me; they were trying to help themselves! Other then this! I had a few friends; they turned out to be fake! slowly I was pulled away from any social interactions and ended up in a dream world!
.
With dissociative disorder; no touching of anything or awareness of anything going on around me! Now that Im getting better and healing up! Im starting to inner act more with people, with women; However, its all very embarrassing! Its hard to be so interactively slow and immature! Its hard to talk about!
.
Ive found that actions speak louder then words! Im slowly learning how to interact again! slowly!
.
Ive never been around people that liked me! I've been around allot of people that were my enemy and not my friends! They had no value toward me! nothing! and those are not the people i wanted to associate with! I could not understand why they didnt like me! its as if I had no social status! They knew nothing about me! Why did they judge me! but they did!
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The whole world caved in on me interactively! Ive never been around the right people or the right social situation that was safe! I was torn to pieces before when young!
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The point is; Im like a 13 year old or 11 year old or 12 year old who is healing up and learning how to touch people again and talk to people again! its very very hard to even look someone in the face; Im like an abused dog that looks down on the ground; its dissociative, I cant help it! As I become aware of my behavior Im slowly learning how to confront others when up close with them; hardest things I can do! Im relearned this fear based procedure, and I feel o so weak and scared!
.
Practice makes perfect and I got to trust God!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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