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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (897)
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- June 2019
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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social interactions!@

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Jan 16, 2015 5:32 am

Its getting hard at meetings; I get blocked! Im not dealing with educated people; most are what one might call trailer trash! personally I don't care! and I don't consider anyone trash until they prove it to me! As I have been called trash half my life! and none of it was true! But if you prove it; thats another story!

Ive been treated like an outcast all my life! as soon as people could get ahold of me they tried to put me into a second tear position to them! Im never treated with the respect I deserve! ever! its crazy! its enough to make you crazy!

Once in a while I deal with people that see me or like me!

One big problem I have with people; calling me a lier after I tell them the truth! This is the fasted way to end a relationship with me; friendship! do not call em a liar once I tell you the truth!

Yet I deal with doubters; people that don't believe what I say, they want proof! My word is not good enough! for them, its a shallow relationship at best! not the ideal!

Most of my relationships are false at this point; most are based within the recovery world! and most are false in the sense; I don't mean anything to anyone! its more superficial! meetings are great for recovery! but not everyone is as needy as I am!

Some of the people are not worth knowing at a personal level! they are rude and judgmental!

I got to remember to wash my clothing! I can't tell when they start to wreak! this is a huge problem! Im still working on it! and my apartment!

Its so hard to be in touch with anything, to be part of things! feeling wize! Ive always been out on the of touch because of Dissociative disorder! Im slowly learning!

I don't have meetings just for DD! I have to go to general recovery stuff in the area; things like NA and AA! and other psych based stuff! and its OK! but the people are rotten at times! it sucks; makes it hard!
I don't have much of a life outside of all of this accept on the net and places like this!

Ive been working on getting closer to people! and its helping and working!

My life was destroyed and I came back, now Im trying to reconnect! but I have allot of recovery work to do! Im still trying to learn who to basic connect with self and my surroundings! In addition, Im attempting to interact with people and be vulnerable!

Life is about social connection! it must be! but it is so hard for us who have been torn apart! its hard to trust again! to rub up against people again! have friends again!

I was so torn apart and lonely and broken; its crazy!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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