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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1020)
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- October 2019
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Social excursions

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:08 pm

So; I was off to a party in the hot outdoors park! it went well; best ever; my anxiety was down; I was OK! still dissociative!
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I learned allot today; as I work with the universe! First; Many women at this place; they are not nice; they are not nice to me and not my cup a tea!
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In one situation; I realized; I was fantasizing about wanting a women to like me! I would see her avoiding me; I was thinking she liked me and was afraid to get near me because she had feelings for me! wrong! Im now waking up and understanding she sees nothing in me but that Im a fool; nothing more! So; stay clear of her!
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Another women plays me any way she can; its almost a sign of that Im inferior and she has nothing but contempt for me! She has told me that I bug her because Im to smart; she cant manipulate me like other men; she was really upset about it! She continues to try! She does it in underhanded ways! Today; it wasn't funny!
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I met a very intelligent women today; very interesting! She wants to be a lawyer! As we were talking she said she sees me; She said I had spectrum disorder and autistic! She was almost right! Then she mentioned dissociative states; On the money; never had anyone see that and name it before! interesting!
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I learned something today of who I am and what Im looking for in an Asian soulmate; Im looking for someone really sensitive and really nice; not like the people I associated with today; many of them were great! many of them; but a few of them; not so good!
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I also had conversations with more n more women and men; I started all of those conversations! great practice and it allowed me to understand who I am and what I want in people! the more social I get; the more I learn about myself; what I am and what Im not! I learn how well I interact with others; not how well I Think Im going to interact with others! I can see who I matter to and who I do not! What Im trying to say is; the problem is; Im trying to make " not so nice" people into nice people! They get along with themselves! Im of a deeper more sensitive nature; I need to slip away and find my own people! And the universe knows this!

The point is; Im getting feedback and Im right on time; right on the mark of learning! This is helping me underhand what I do want and dont want!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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