Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Social and feeling worthy

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:21 pm

I realized tonight I do not feel worthy enough to get married...
.
.
At a meeting tonight; I screamed out and stomped the floor; " She was my wife"; Ive never said that publicly to anyone before.
.
.
The women thing is picking up... Women are showing up for social reasons. Im starting to interact with them; ask them out for coffee and talk to them like they are my wives and close friends...
.
The women at the meeting; " She is my wife"; Her behavior and her personality is so pathological and broken; Im not sure it can ever be repaired; I dont know; It certainly is in no shape for a relationship for someone like myself. However, her heart; and when I look into her eyes; the connection between us; she is my wife. So; What does that really mean; It means the universe is trying to send the right women for the job.. Traits of a wife are showing up in several different areas and people. This women Im talking about in this paragraph is one example... Not all of her Is workable in a relationship; so; she will not be in a relationship with me; but that does not mean the potential is not their. Potential exists; but the person is in no shape to be around me; in fact; because of the persons pathological state; she is dangerous.
.
I Saw another women at the meetings; she was opening the meetings. Ive known of her but never trusted her; ive been praying for safe women to open up to. This women at the meeting.. Shes becoming my friend. Never thought that would happen and Ive opened up many personal things to her...
.
Another women I saw; she has a truck and we talked and it was closer then its ever been. Ive know her for 5 years? I wanted to ask her out a long time ago... yesterday while getting a ride home. I talked and lectured her about God and recovery. It sounded like a man and wife bickering... I was deep and real and honest.. And I asked her out for coffee; platonically; my choice. I mean; Im not looking for that right now; Im trying to become friends with people and do things together; Im at that social stage again.
.
And many other things happening.
.
One women; had the potential to be my wife.. When I look in her eyes I can see it and she can see it in mine; but it will never be... Not with that monster... but the signs are showing up all over the place and the women that take notice of me and I them; they bring a special quality all their own; and its a marriage quality they are allowing me to experience with them; possibly; one is taking care of me. Another; we are bantering back in forth as if we have been married for 30 years. Another want to give me advice; another sits in front of me while I creatively converse with her in a way that is flirtatious heading toward marriage... Its not going to head toward marriage with any of these people; thats not the point. The point is; the universe is bringing the right people that are safe....that I may practice until I am better.....
.
I got up for a zoom meeting this morning. I text a women for a ride for tonight to another meeting. It didnt used to be like that; I would ride my bike; not text a women for something; thats whats changing...

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 5457 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Houstonfrest, MichaelInody