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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (915)
Archives
- June 2019
intimacy 3
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 11:26 am
1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 4:29 am
Coping with what has happened to me in this life
   Mon Jun 24, 2019 1:43 am
Visualizations
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 9:27 pm
Talents and development
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:39 pm
Money and women
   Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm
women and shame
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:53 am
Music creating; blocked
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:46 am
Im getting very close
   Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:25 am
Its hard when you were never loved.
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:29 pm
Things are changing
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:08 am
Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 3:36 am
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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slow movement upward to remembrance

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:55 pm

Im using the people in my meetings to bring me back to life! its not safe; but Im doing it anyway!

Lately ive been more honest!

The fact is is; Im using the place to get back to the middle class standard I started from!

I have been unable to sustain or create relationships or activities! Im slowly working on these problems of getting close to people,.!

I take chances; some work some don't; some backfire and I give up; the next day the person is wanting my attention!

Its all very strange; it makes me wake up! its all feedback that others don't get!

I don't like the boundary problems in some areas; but I put up with it to get the feedback that I get better!

Im starting to tell the truth! Im not sure why it was so hard in the first place!

I tried to kill myself with pills because of PTSD wounds! And I didn't care about anything anymore! later I gave everything away, I was homeless in the park! And at this time and before I was drinking! and becoming hooked! In high school I was getting hooked on drugs to take the place of a sick non existent family system!

Ive spent 2/3rds of my life lost in mental disorders! Im hoping to break through this! and get back to the college person I really am! Ive been living like an animal under a bridge at times! and Ive lived like a drug addict mental patient for the rest of it! I would like to come back to reality again and like myself, and live with relationships and activities!


Women;
Ive always attracted the hottest women; Im one of those guys! and I just can't get used to it! it freaks me out! and the women freak me out because they are used to going out with the best guys and I don't want to compete with them or be seen by these women!

These women are to much for me! Its hard to believe I can have a beautiful women! but I attract them! Im so messed up in this area! I don't understand! I don't know what to do!

Women like the way I look; its that simple! Im older now and I still attract my share of women!

IVe got massive low self esteem or image or worth associated with women; its all very confusing!

I associate women with money; if I don't have money; no women will be interested! but if a women is interested; she must secretly think Im made of money! and I don't want to be publicly ridiculed when she finds out I don't have money!

I know that if these women knew me they would get rid of me; or stop dating me and stop everything and never come back!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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