| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/slow_movement_upward_to_remembrance_b-8086_sid-867b8327f1c50e59206a9bbe5feb0fb3.html |
|
| Author: | OMNICELL [ Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:55 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | slow movement upward to remembrance |
Im using the people in my meetings to bring me back to life! its not safe; but Im doing it anyway! Lately ive been more honest! The fact is is; Im using the place to get back to the middle class standard I started from! I have been unable to sustain or create relationships or activities! Im slowly working on these problems of getting close to people,.! I take chances; some work some don't; some backfire and I give up; the next day the person is wanting my attention! Its all very strange; it makes me wake up! its all feedback that others don't get! I don't like the boundary problems in some areas; but I put up with it to get the feedback that I get better! Im starting to tell the truth! Im not sure why it was so hard in the first place! I tried to kill myself with pills because of PTSD wounds! And I didn't care about anything anymore! later I gave everything away, I was homeless in the park! And at this time and before I was drinking! and becoming hooked! In high school I was getting hooked on drugs to take the place of a sick non existent family system! Ive spent 2/3rds of my life lost in mental disorders! Im hoping to break through this! and get back to the college person I really am! Ive been living like an animal under a bridge at times! and Ive lived like a drug addict mental patient for the rest of it! I would like to come back to reality again and like myself, and live with relationships and activities! Women; Ive always attracted the hottest women; Im one of those guys! and I just can't get used to it! it freaks me out! and the women freak me out because they are used to going out with the best guys and I don't want to compete with them or be seen by these women! These women are to much for me! Its hard to believe I can have a beautiful women! but I attract them! Im so messed up in this area! I don't understand! I don't know what to do! Women like the way I look; its that simple! Im older now and I still attract my share of women! IVe got massive low self esteem or image or worth associated with women; its all very confusing! I associate women with money; if I don't have money; no women will be interested! but if a women is interested; she must secretly think Im made of money! and I don't want to be publicly ridiculed when she finds out I don't have money! I know that if these women knew me they would get rid of me; or stop dating me and stop everything and never come back! |
|
| All times are UTC | |
Powered by phpBB © 2002, 2006 phpBB Group www.phpbb.com |
|