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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (947)
Archives
- July 2019
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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slow movement upward to remembrance

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:55 pm

Im using the people in my meetings to bring me back to life! its not safe; but Im doing it anyway!

Lately ive been more honest!

The fact is is; Im using the place to get back to the middle class standard I started from!

I have been unable to sustain or create relationships or activities! Im slowly working on these problems of getting close to people,.!

I take chances; some work some don't; some backfire and I give up; the next day the person is wanting my attention!

Its all very strange; it makes me wake up! its all feedback that others don't get!

I don't like the boundary problems in some areas; but I put up with it to get the feedback that I get better!

Im starting to tell the truth! Im not sure why it was so hard in the first place!

I tried to kill myself with pills because of PTSD wounds! And I didn't care about anything anymore! later I gave everything away, I was homeless in the park! And at this time and before I was drinking! and becoming hooked! In high school I was getting hooked on drugs to take the place of a sick non existent family system!

Ive spent 2/3rds of my life lost in mental disorders! Im hoping to break through this! and get back to the college person I really am! Ive been living like an animal under a bridge at times! and Ive lived like a drug addict mental patient for the rest of it! I would like to come back to reality again and like myself, and live with relationships and activities!


Women;
Ive always attracted the hottest women; Im one of those guys! and I just can't get used to it! it freaks me out! and the women freak me out because they are used to going out with the best guys and I don't want to compete with them or be seen by these women!

These women are to much for me! Its hard to believe I can have a beautiful women! but I attract them! Im so messed up in this area! I don't understand! I don't know what to do!

Women like the way I look; its that simple! Im older now and I still attract my share of women!

IVe got massive low self esteem or image or worth associated with women; its all very confusing!

I associate women with money; if I don't have money; no women will be interested! but if a women is interested; she must secretly think Im made of money! and I don't want to be publicly ridiculed when she finds out I don't have money!

I know that if these women knew me they would get rid of me; or stop dating me and stop everything and never come back!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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