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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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slow movement upward to remembrance

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:55 pm

Im using the people in my meetings to bring me back to life! its not safe; but Im doing it anyway!

Lately ive been more honest!

The fact is is; Im using the place to get back to the middle class standard I started from!

I have been unable to sustain or create relationships or activities! Im slowly working on these problems of getting close to people,.!

I take chances; some work some don't; some backfire and I give up; the next day the person is wanting my attention!

Its all very strange; it makes me wake up! its all feedback that others don't get!

I don't like the boundary problems in some areas; but I put up with it to get the feedback that I get better!

Im starting to tell the truth! Im not sure why it was so hard in the first place!

I tried to kill myself with pills because of PTSD wounds! And I didn't care about anything anymore! later I gave everything away, I was homeless in the park! And at this time and before I was drinking! and becoming hooked! In high school I was getting hooked on drugs to take the place of a sick non existent family system!

Ive spent 2/3rds of my life lost in mental disorders! Im hoping to break through this! and get back to the college person I really am! Ive been living like an animal under a bridge at times! and Ive lived like a drug addict mental patient for the rest of it! I would like to come back to reality again and like myself, and live with relationships and activities!


Women;
Ive always attracted the hottest women; Im one of those guys! and I just can't get used to it! it freaks me out! and the women freak me out because they are used to going out with the best guys and I don't want to compete with them or be seen by these women!

These women are to much for me! Its hard to believe I can have a beautiful women! but I attract them! Im so messed up in this area! I don't understand! I don't know what to do!

Women like the way I look; its that simple! Im older now and I still attract my share of women!

IVe got massive low self esteem or image or worth associated with women; its all very confusing!

I associate women with money; if I don't have money; no women will be interested! but if a women is interested; she must secretly think Im made of money! and I don't want to be publicly ridiculed when she finds out I don't have money!

I know that if these women knew me they would get rid of me; or stop dating me and stop everything and never come back!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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