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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Slow boat past the PTSD world

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Feb 18, 2014 6:57 pm

Im working my way into a new way of thinking about the world. For the longest time it was a brutal unsafe world; I thought it better that I be dead. Now Im attempting to rebuild parts of the brain that see things differently. However, I still have the PTSD world! and this makes things hard.

I work through one PTSD world, to find ive landed on another PTSD world underneath! I expected to land on solid earth! I did not. I went from one fantasy to another. So, how many more fantasies do I work through until I am home ground! I just keep going!

Im looking to clear the mind of the scatter brained past! my mind sees itself before it sees reality. I dissociate before I hit reality! Im attempting to teach my brain thats its OK to go to earth first! But what will I find; another nightmare of PTSD worlds underneath. And so it goes...

And the rest of the world doesn't understand, and the rest of the world doesn't understand, and the rest of the f@cking world, doesn't understand!
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I continue to get better! I continue to see the PTSD worlds closer to home; thus causing more adjetation. And It gives me hope, and the rest of the world opens up a bit... but so does the pain and fear of yesteryear. I see the bloody horror show close up!

Most of the groups I go to, do not understand. Well, they do, there not thinking about me! I have to take what is given me! go where the recovery is! and this is everything! its hard! its slowly working to release me back into the public; as I turn back into a republic!

The world opens up! I get closer to the center of the kore. And the kore is a place of passing out through dissociation, and turbulent terror unleashed. iTs a place of morbid human displacement.

I am a defused bomb! Now I attempt open me up and look around!

I am poverty! I am trying to change!
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The goal is relationships and activities...

The ability for my brain to concentrate in the here n now, and not be taken over by PTSD worlds without choice. I would like to be here now as well. If this be possible, I might be able to get a life out of this deal; and this has been the whole of interest!

The PTSD worlds make it impossible for me to make decisions....

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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