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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1021)
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- October 2019
Im still to young
   Fri Oct 18, 2019 4:36 pm
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

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Single again

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:40 pm

So Im alone again!

I forgot one thing about the girl; who got involved with her! who's fault was it? did I forget! Im the one that jumped into this thing! its not the girls fault!

Im looking at my role in things; Im very controlling; its kept me alive... ITs bad on relationships!
Im still needy!
Im dominent!

Im obsessive controlling and don't want to bring that into a relationship! but how else do I fix it. I have to mature and work through it. I don't mean to turn the girl into a psych nurse! but with my next girlfriend; what am I suppose to do! I can't cure myself! Im not sure what to do.

Confidence; not there yet. better, Im still a victim and weak. ( I still let people walk over me; its getting better) I want someone to take care of me! I need more experiences; I need to become confident.... that means loosing fear! that comes from experience facing fears; emotional relational fears. Interacting with people!

Women have power over me! Im like a little kid and they are mom! and I want love! or they are my big sister, or my first girlfriend... or my best friends sisters or there girlfriends from school. Or my aunt, or the old lady next door. All of the above was taken from me. My ability to experience such things was taken from me; I was erased.

I do not control others when they walk over me. I wait to develop better recovery and find other place and people and things to associate with!

The rooms of recovery I visit know me as a specific kind of person! They know about 5% of me no more; thats how it seems. And I don't want it any different!

Women seem to be like little children to me! possibly because that is all I remember! I am starting out like a 2nd grader! I don't have a problem with it. I suppose others are going to! Im sure women will find me a bit strange; the'll get used to it!~
Women's opinions have to much control and power over me. Women have to much control over me! there looks and what that means in status has to much power over me!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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