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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Single again

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:40 pm

So Im alone again!

I forgot one thing about the girl; who got involved with her! who's fault was it? did I forget! Im the one that jumped into this thing! its not the girls fault!

Im looking at my role in things; Im very controlling; its kept me alive... ITs bad on relationships!
Im still needy!
Im dominent!

Im obsessive controlling and don't want to bring that into a relationship! but how else do I fix it. I have to mature and work through it. I don't mean to turn the girl into a psych nurse! but with my next girlfriend; what am I suppose to do! I can't cure myself! Im not sure what to do.

Confidence; not there yet. better, Im still a victim and weak. ( I still let people walk over me; its getting better) I want someone to take care of me! I need more experiences; I need to become confident.... that means loosing fear! that comes from experience facing fears; emotional relational fears. Interacting with people!

Women have power over me! Im like a little kid and they are mom! and I want love! or they are my big sister, or my first girlfriend... or my best friends sisters or there girlfriends from school. Or my aunt, or the old lady next door. All of the above was taken from me. My ability to experience such things was taken from me; I was erased.

I do not control others when they walk over me. I wait to develop better recovery and find other place and people and things to associate with!

The rooms of recovery I visit know me as a specific kind of person! They know about 5% of me no more; thats how it seems. And I don't want it any different!

Women seem to be like little children to me! possibly because that is all I remember! I am starting out like a 2nd grader! I don't have a problem with it. I suppose others are going to! Im sure women will find me a bit strange; the'll get used to it!~
Women's opinions have to much control and power over me. Women have to much control over me! there looks and what that means in status has to much power over me!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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