| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/sexual_disfunction_b-12093_sid-c62bc7906bc743f646c5837cbeabda69.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Wed May 09, 2018 6:09 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Sexual disfunction |
I had a startling experience; when I watch porn; I can lust! When I thought of this women I really like; I thought about her pole dancing; she is looking back at me! I then see myself up and close, Im looking at her pumps from and her ankles and Im massaging her legs; and I focus on this! and then it happened; suddenly, Im limp! I cant feel anything; just fear! suddenly, Im repressed and no sexuality; nothing! I need these visuals of a women I love; I need it! I need to visualize myself making love to her; being up close and touching her; touching her body! What is happening to me! . Touching her body in my imagination means Im moving out of the protected fantasy world into the real world! What I think about materializes! Thoughts become things ~ . I can feel the deeper feelings; My feelings and life are being repressed when I was between the ages of 9 to 13. Sexual abuse and control! . Im feeling those free thoughts come back from before this time period; the really me; the me repressed; He is trying to come out in my visualizations! He wants to come back and is being blocked! . The more I think about it; Im being blocked at times when Im watching porn; I want to get off on it; but Im blocked by someone else's conservative viewpoints that have been implanted me; their not mine! . I have no problem with porn or anything else! I love sex and the idea of it; all of it; regardless of how crazy; I dont care! . I want to visualize myself making love physically to this women; I mean; I really do! this is crazy! . Ive got allot of work under my agenda; I must feel intimate! I must feel when Im visualizing intimacy; I must! . I will continue to work on it! . Why am I having these problems; My thoughts and expression are getting stronger as I get healthier; and my life wants to come back into reality and live! And Im starting to visualize living! . Ive have to visualize Im kissing this women; I have to feel up close; my lips on hers; focusing on it in detail! and everything else; I must! . I have break through this; see myself kissing her soft moist legs! Feel it, see my lips on her skin; focus on it! . What I think about comes about! and now Im realizing; I can meet the right people if I can dream them up in my head; they will appear! . The goal is positive aspects of everything; Think about what I want and add real positive to it; and watch it appear before me in the real world! . So; its stunning and shocking to not feel anything when Im thinking about making love to a women I like; it means I can not apply any manhood to women; any masculinity! and I have to; this means, me coming back into life in full force! |
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