Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Secret development!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Mar 24, 2016 4:40 pm

Secret development; this is what kids have from a good family! Kids from good families are learning how to become independent! They are left alone to gain their own experiences! They are aware that they are left alone!

In my case; for a short time; I was left alone from my mother because the father figure in the group made her do so! He was a sociopath; He would not do this for my sake; For the sociopath does not know me or care! He is an animal hiding in a disguise! So, he's not trying to protect me! He couldn't care less! He does not care about my survival! So; Whats going on here?................

He is controlling his wife out of his territory! I am no different then his snowmobile or truck! Im a mindless object that he owns! Since Im his property! And he is the ruler of the house! She will not get involved! She is forced to feed me or do my laundry! And she will continue to do so until she thinks she is getting a raw deal! Meaning; If she gets money out of this or position; she will continue with this Charade! However, if she gets nothing out of this; she is gone!

My father kept her at bay for a few years! When he finally showed his true colors; he left! And I was left with her! I was less then an object! More like the value of a bic pen! I had no value! I had no value from the neck down! I was nothing but exploited meet; but I did not know it! No one was interested in my development or my future or my present! I was simply getting and being used!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was trying to develop myself outside the home! I spent most of my time outside the home! I was never home! I was at school or friends houses!

I had to go to summer school allot every year! Now looking back at it! I had to do this because I did not finish any assignments for my classes! I didn't finish any assignments because no one was making me finish anything because no one cared!

I had great potential and I was being used ruthlessly! And did not know it! They knew what they were doing! They did not have kids for just any reason! They had their own sick twisted reasons for using children! They certainly didn't care what happened in their future!

I was 2 smart to be in summer school all the time!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as my father left; it was over for me! My mother sold the house I grew up in; she was gone!

Technically, this would have been the last time I ever saw her; Thank God! But it wasn't because I did not have any idea of what was going on!

One gruesome unfortunate for the children caught in a death situation like this; The only people that will tell you whats happening to you are your parents; but what if the parents are the ones destroying you! You have no chance !

My childhood and everything I knew about life was ruptured out of existence! Thus the real work of The psychopath or sociopath or both!

Remember; I have brothers; but they are strangers! I have no interest from them! I don't exist! And never will again! Im never thought of!

Im never thought of again! And I was never thought about in the first place! And never will be! And most of my trouble is trying to negotiate life with no help! For most of it; it is confusing at best! And I was trampled and ran down and cannot keep up! My potential is never used! Im in 2 much trauma and no one cares! Ridiculous!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here n now:

After being destroyed at a young age; when it's happening to you and you have no place to get help and no one to call out to; you are slammed with PTSD! And your mind comes to the front! You no longer use your imagination; you are in pure survival mode! You mind is gone or you are locked out of the thinking processes! Its all psychological animal survival!

Unfortunately; later, I am made into a bad kid in school! Im hacked and brought to the principles office as a bad kid; Im now blamed as a black sheep for the school problems! Of course, nothing could be further from the truth! Im the nicest innocent person in the world who is being destroyed by the upper middle classes! If you don't understand this; look at the Jesus story in the Bible! The point is made that it's a group or community of people that murder Jesus; not just one murder! Jesus is not a criminal! He's a descent honest person and they will kill him! Not just one! But many; and from different economic classes! Thus; the same thing happened to me; or was happening to me!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the present;

After much recovery work; Im now the 12 year old that was asking questions to God! " God?, how do I regain the developmental years I lost as a child; where do I go, I have no mother or father or school system to rework my personality"! " do you know what Im looking for, do you know where it is"!

So; lately, Ive been moving in a mystical spiritual direction created by God! God is directing the whole thing; he is bringing me the right people to study! And he's allowing me to feel safe while doing so! And Im naturally moving into areas of development that are effecting the growth of the 12 years old with in! And this is truly amazing! Only God could create the specific journey I need for healing!

Im in the middle of waking up again; this time; Im waking up as a well educated upper middle class sensitive artist person! A real decent home based cultural person; much like when 8 years old!

Il look at it this way; I could have become a PHD teaching in higher education or a street bum drunk nut bar! I ended up a little of both! but my identity slipped into the later; mental illness patient with little hope! street numb bum with an alcoholism potential beginning to show! I had the same problem in high school with drugs! most of it induced from shear neglect! using drugs was the last thing of interest I had when a boy! but after the home was taken away! and I had to leave; I was never the same; and did not care about anything! I just wanted to die!


Lately, Im awakening! The 12 year old is getting fed the right information for independent growth! This growth is at a high level of intelligence! its a high frequency needed! and a high frequency is hitting me where I need it! wonderful!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 10314 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher