Im writing allot of blogs these days! I guess lots is coming out!
Safety is what you get with comfort! Someone taking good care of you!
I felt safe as a boy; for a while while my father was around! That was only a few years! I had no idea what or who he was or what he was about until he was gone! I thought he loved me! And that thought of him loving me held me in place and meant everything in the world to me; I thought I was his pride n joy! I was not! I meant nothing to him; it was all a lie and a game! So, what do I do next!
I hid! I had no place to go, no place to hide; nothing!
I had no strength to continue with anything! You must have people behind you as a child; for school, for relationships, for everything! You don't do things alone!
Children forced alone end up on the streets dead
ITs unfortunate what I went through!
I have to get the memories with these pschophants; out of my personality! Get them worked through!
My original life was not worked through! It was all rapped up in side myself, in my emotions! And its stayed within me!
Because it was within me; hidden! Others never saw my worth! They just wrote me off! I never showed them anything! they never asked! and to this day they never asked!
IVe had people in the present actually judge me so harshly; they thought I was a fool! they thought they were superior in every direction; they were superior in no direction!
I showed them nothing; they walked all over me! I will still show them nothing!
Safety development is what Im interested in! being safe outside! I need to feel safe!