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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (917)
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- June 2019
going to meetings; Yuk
   Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:55 am
social is coming back; but its slow and about thinking
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intimacy 3
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1966 and 50 years later; or 50 years to late?
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Coping with what has happened to me in this life
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Visualizations
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women and shame
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Im getting very close
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Its hard when you were never loved.
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Things are changing
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Cant finish anything I start; cant get started
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Social isolation; social uphill climb
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Feeling better inside
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Money
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An interest in the arts
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Social
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intimacy 2
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intimacy
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Identity overwhelmed
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re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
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dealing with life from zero to 18
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Connecting to things in the real world
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Things are changing
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I have to believe more
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liking myself and dating
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Dissociation
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Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
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Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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Revenge; a deceptive tactic of the enemy

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Dec 14, 2015 1:56 am

Those who live on emotion respond to revenge! Yet, This life is a heavy burden! And those who seek revenge will find it!

It is better to not revenge! It is better to go to the light of God and ask " God" " what is going on" " why are you not protecting me"! And thus is its! I don't sell my soul out away from God?!

I continue to stay with God, not be enticed by the evil! And my it can be overwhelming! Yet, attacking God is not the answer! Meaning, going to war against God! That is Satins Job, not mine! I job is to talk to God!

Don't think that I don't fight with God! I fight and struggle with him all the time! I have come up with new slang cussing vocabularies to yell at God! And I yell at him all day long! He is my father and when Im in need, I yell at him; sometimes, when he did not show up! I yell at him twice as hard and twice as loud!

It is God I serve and no one else!

Incitements is a nasty machine of hatred and contempt and disgust turned against its owner! The point of incitement is to pull away! To manipulate or conjure! To create confusion! To render the enemy useless then gain his trust and pull him in a specific direction to his death!

The point is; enticement ( How ever you spell it), is a weapon used to kill the enemy! in this case, you are the enemy! at what point when the enemy steals your goods, will you respond with anger and rage and revenge! You eyes are not on God! can you not see this is a war, and the enemy is attacking you!

I must turn to God and the light! it is God that I worship; Not just " sometimes" or, " somedays!" !

Life is a lesson playground! its a play ground for child adults!

One must stay steady; stay on course with God! One must stay on course with God; not Satan!

One must not be enticed to go in the direction of Satan! Satan can appear very scary and large! so, I the child can be frightened by him and feel like I must follow him or Ill be left all alone! and thats a scary deal! I must turn To God!

Im must work on resentments; seeing them clearly; Its important to see only my role! meaning, I see what the other person did! then its my turn! What could I have done different! Im only interested in shoring up my side of the street; not the other persons! when Im worried about how a perpetrator feels; then Im still their victim!

I must keep forgiving the people of the past! The idea is to get healthy enough to accept what happened and then keep forgiving and taking nothing personal; understanding that God can bring back anything to me at anytime! first, I have to get those people are their power; out! it must leave! they still control me even though they are ghosts!

I must keep forgiving and facing things and work on resentments!

================================================================================

The violent nature created in me of what happened to me when young is not good! It has no place! and its deep inhuman or non human created resentments! that means its at the level of rape, torture, cultural Genocide; Things of that nature!

I live in a society that simply does not have the depth carved out in them to understand such things! They don't think in terms of problems at this deep level! Thats my opinion! I could be wrong! I don't think so! Truth will tell! I don't know everyone! Certainly a number of the people I knew from the past; they had no depth to understand the horrors I was put through! the traumatic fear and terror!

I was terrified into submission! and broken the same way! I feel for it; I was to young, and did not know better! I was living with a psychopath!

Anyway! violence rings from such forced experiences! It makes one war violent! and that violence never leaves! If I think someone is ######6 with me! I take it as an act of treason against myself as a citizen! I say kill them on the spot! If it wasn't for the district atturneys office running everything! if it were legal! Id kill the person ######6 with me! I waist his whole family and blood line! id go to war with them; Id exterminate the whole tribe!

The problem is; most people don't think in terms of war! they are regulars from the regular world; they've never been through anything horrific that changed them!

I do not want to be violent! that is not my nature; but Im not the only one living in this body!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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