So, I was in a very short relationship with a hot little blond girl! I actually liked her; does it matter, not to her!
I saw the attraction in her; from her insides; her heart! does it matter, no! not really! not to her...
A few days into it, I noticed she was not calling when she said she would! she was going places without me! and in the meetings when I attempted to sit next to her, she got fidgety! I noticed she was looking at the young latin guys in the meetings... and she seemed angry if I got close to her; as if she didn't want anyone to think we were together...
She called later that night! I finally made it clear; If your not going to make up your mind to be my girlfriend why don't you leave and not come back; Im tired of having my time waisted; it makes me sick to my stomach.
She simply hung up... and that was the end of that! About 2 weeks this thing lasted.
Next day! She is in the meetings, she does not look like she is hurting! and she has a new latin boyfriend sitting next to her. Gosh, I thought she didn't want a real boyfriend; I thought that was suppose to be controlling. I guess if your young and latin those rules don't apply!
So, my first venture into relationships create an interesting learning curve for the future. And Im sure I will never talk to or interact with this girl again! Thank God!
From this, Im wondering about the other women in the rooms.. One women has shown interest; she liked me several years ago! I could not respond to her! She ended up with another boyfriend, I ended up leaving these rooms for 8 months. I saw this girl today at the meetings. I wonder if she cared that I had left the meetings. Some how, I don't think so! I think she wanted something, if she didn't get it from me she would get it from someone else! Don't think I was on her mind! If she never saw me again; what would she care!
Im starting to see a pattern of pathological behavior in dating within these rooms. And Im starting to notice; I like the girls; there intent, at first! However, something goes wrong! they take back control and want to use the men like bulls in a coral. They want mindless men they can manipulate into anything they please. The girls don't want to be controlled so they go out with sociopaths that expect nothing from them!
The girls are real, and they are interested from there hearts... This is better then allot of the middle class idiots Ive met or had the unfortunate reality to date or associate with!
However, even tho these girls have good hearts, their minds are 2 faced!
A girl might like me! but she ends up with someone else! she does not listen to her heart or the truth! She wont honer her own feelings; its crazy..
Ive found the girls to go for the guys with the best body, and leave it at that!
They have good hearts; no conscious! So, I need girls like the girls in the rooms, but with a conscious. Im wondering where Im going to find such people! I suppose its time to work on relationship stuff on paper.
I have to trust God! My biggest fear is finding people outside the rooms! Would they accept me! Im not sure. In the rooms its easy to hide and be accepted. Everyone in the rooms has had drug problems, many of us have PTSD problems; Lots of combat vets in these rooms. Ive had my own form of war from the states! Im not a vet! Great people; all of them!
So it seems easy to date people in the rooms. But, not so easy! They are 2 faced and not honest! if they don't get what they want they go out with someone that will require nothing of them!
The girls I'm looking for are outside the rooms!