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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Relationship

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Jul 05, 2018 3:07 pm

The goal is not a soulmate; the first goal on the roaster is the knowledge and experience of having successful relationships; and then a soulmate! not a soulmate before its time!
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I deeply seek the knowledge of how to have a regular healthy relationship; I want to learn it; practice it and experience it several times until I am independently solid at it and feel structurally secure; and when I feel good about myself and confident and solid in experiencing relationships! When Im successful and matured at solid positive relationships and I know I I know a relationship and how to have one; I feel proud of myself because I can handle this and I can do quit well at this; once this inner machinery and complexity of relationship is understood and Im working the structural integrity of relationship and doing quit well; then and only then will I ask for the next manifestation of an Asian-Soulmate! I will never ask for a soulmate first; I do not want to be incomplete and have to rely on her as an incomplete person! I don't want to be incomplete! I don't need her for that! I can fix this now! I can fix this by the people around me! I have plenty of people to work on this; same principles I can face with regular people and learn to mature; I don't have to have a special person to show up for this; I have groups of all kinds to learn how to have a relationship and work a relationship and practice in relationships until I feel it; Im solid and can be successful at relationships! Then and only then; after practicing relationships; would I bring a soulmate into the picture! And Im happy about this!
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So; its scary and it hurts; I will feel; and I feel love feelings for myself; thats whats bringing happiness! And I feel first then give! And I feel love feelings and then give them away; that is relationships! Relationships mean Im forced to love myself'; because I have to give love away! I have to have love to give it away; therefore, Im feeling these deep love feelings for myself; it hurts; its scary! it hurts! I want to cry about it; over n over! when I feel this self love; its loathing and hurts; and all of this must mature before I have a soulmate! I don't want to put this on a soulmates shoulders; its not her stuff! Its my stuff; I solve it long before I call the universe to bring her to me!
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Im excited to learn all about how to have a relationship! Looking to get this part of like under my belt!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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