Im concerned! I thought this young women liked me! I was completely wrong! I could have been led on! probably was; but then; maybe not! everything is in my head!
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I knew something was wrong concerning this person; something not right; playing people!
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Still; Im wondering if its dissociative disorder allowing me to believe what I want to believe!
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As I wake up; these women are getting into relationships in front of me; Im of no interest and never was! I feel horrible! However, I have been aligning myself with source energy of the universe! and I feel I was saved this time!
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When I aligned myself to the universe; I pulled away from thinking about this women!
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Is it possible that the signs I thought were being sent to me actually meant nothing! she was really never looking at me or never really took an interest in me! it was all in my head! this is a dissociative trait!
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Wether or not the girl was playing me is relevant! The point is; I could not read it!
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I haven't a clue who to like or not like! I really dont!
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I can feel my narcissistic attitude all over this; I got slammed before I ever started! But I dont know that I got slammed or played!
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I might have thought; she likes me; when she was never thinking about me in the first place; and when I shook her hand; I thought their was a connection; no cost of weirdo chasing after young women!
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Who knows!
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I have to work with source energy on this women thing! I dont know!
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If I was being played; it suggests I never saw and I was being roped in to be made a fool of! Why could I not see it! Narcissism! yes! I think Im more then what these women think I am!
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Another problem; the type of people Im playing with are not safe! and Im not seeing it! My boundaries are down and I dont see it! Im not being realistic because Im not in reality! Im around the wrong people!
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So; when it comes to women; I thought I was " all that"; and when a women sees this; Im played; or worse; she could care less and doesn't feel safe around me in the first place!
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Its possible she thought I was a wierdo in the first place and didnt feel safe with me in the same room! I took it as interest! So; Im not aware of how people see me!
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Ill start over from the beginning working with the universe to attract my soulmate! I dont know!
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I have the alignment with source energy! Im so very deaf dumb and blind about all of this! I had no idea I was this stupid of what women are or what they look for in a man! Maybe Im nothing to them! and I thought I was something!
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So; I've been humbled or humiliated! Or Im in a dissociative state that believes what I want to believe relative to the real reality! These people Im going after are not my friends! and I have no real idea how they look at me; and that scares me! all of this does!