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OMNICELL
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
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PTSD/Visualizing and keeping your sanity

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Oct 30, 2017 7:39 am

ITs hard when your face to face with PTSD! I practice visualizing; Im into LOA work! so, for my goals, I see them first! I have to practice third eye meditations; things like transcendental meditations!
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I see myself in my mind looking outward in first person point of view! And I see the room Im in from this third eye in my imagination; in fact, I fact that room when Im in the third eye!
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The point; I visualize the room Im actually in with my eyes closed and start from their! I imagine what is behind me and in front of me and the sides and the floor and the celling! I imagine what right behind me and under me! I feel my own weight and I thank my body and feel my presence in its space!
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Suddenly I realize, Im somewhere else; However, I know Im not! I know Im in this room, my room; so I focus on my room again, the walls and sharp corners! celling!
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I then attempt to imagine something else; maybe a new truck! and suddenly the other PTSD worlds come in!
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New visualization or words trigger new emotions or thoughts and the PTSD grabs them and infiltrates itself in! Im learning to visualize back into the room Im in! stay present.
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Im damaged in the focal areas, where you see right out side your eyes; lots of dissociation in these areas! causes pain!
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I imagine my own body and hands and face and feel my feet and my legs! I see my head next to the pillow!
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I want to dissociate and I do but its getting better!
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Whats the best thing that could happen; focus on that! This will be my new mantra!
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Ive noticed that the visualization process; when pain occurs; I can sometimes see where its coming from, what Im visualizing on thats popping into my brain! and I see myself at age 12 in new un friendly surroundings and bad neighborhoods with drugs and bullies and no life for myself! and that is automatic; its hardwired to show up; those thoughts; but not anymore; because Im now working on it!
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When I feel that stress; that PTSD stress and fear and panic and terror, it triggers other thoughts and time periods and they layer on top of each other! And its hardcore; I mean like stone! like a cloud made of stone rolls in and takes over my mind! Not now; Im working on it! I see it and start visualizing something new; I visualize Im in my room; the room Im actually in!
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So, Im learning about my brain and my thinking! Im learning how to change my thoughts and where the PTSD damage is and when it hits!
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Im getting a new freedom on life because of this work with visualization; I must remember, Im not just learning visualization; Im damaged; my mind is damaged! So, much work has to go into this; my mind gets triggered very easily!
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My mind gets triggered from words or feelings or physical movements! one move of the head and Im back in an episode of PTSD somewhere in time and space!
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IF I want to visualize what I want for my future; I have to get good at it!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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