Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1007)
Archives
- August 2019
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

PTSD rage:

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:16 pm

1 year ago I met a young women. I fell in love with her, she fell in love with me. Because of my strange and abusive behavior associated with PTSD/Dissociative problems she found someone else to date.

I had allot of investment with this girl. I thought she would be my best friend. However, that is not what happened.

I broke down for 45 days.. I could not respond to her. She gave up on me and found someone else. I was mad that she gave up... I never gave up on her, It just looked that way...

The rage levels are severe. I blame this girl for my rage. The feeling of being ripped of. Conned.. However, on paper she is did nothing wrong. THis was a courting process, we were not hooked up yet.

She freaked when she saw that I was a freak. I would have liked a more understanding person. However, considering her background, this would not happen.

After 4 months Im realizing she is not coming back ever. I will never see her again. This is a huge loss and I don't like the quickness and interest in speed that she found a new boyfriend... I feel like I was thrown away...

Logic dictates on paper that she did everything right. Are relationship required that I participate. I did not participate, therefore, I paid for this mistake and Im still paying. I had to respond to her within the 45 days; I could not...

Im going to assume this is a God thing, God wanted me out of there..

THis could have been a trial run for the real thing later.. I never meant to hurt this girl. I did hurt her. I saw it in here eyes, they told a deep vast story....

Im assuming all of this was practice, much like America will practice war in another countries city to prepare for a bigger war somewhere else.

I do not believe I will ever see this girl again or talk to her again. My relationship with her was over 4 months ago, never to surface again.. Very hardcore... Really hardcore. I thought I would marry her and take care of her kids;.. all very hardcore...

Its all OK, if I never see her again. It was like a star Trek episode. All intense, lasts no more then 90 minutes. Nothing surprises me considering where I met her.

I was screwed over by this person, she wanted to go out with another guy for superficial reasons.. She got rid of me...

I was very confused. Now I will know better! It could have been allot worse. I might have married her and all kinds of trouble starts.

The person she is with is not safe. Not safe for her or her kids... Yet, she will probably marry the guy... Its sicking to watch... She does not care that the guy is unsafe.. Its unbelievable.

She does not care if she marries me and Im the only one that really lovers...

Im lucky I guess. As brutal as Im being treated by this person, I suppose I wonder what it would be like if I had to live with her on a daily basis. I mean that in a negative way... I suppose its better this way... in the long run
---------

moving on! , Im scared to date, Im afraid Im going to deal with another sociopath like the the one just dealt with....

Time will heal. Ill keep moving on. Theres nothing in my immediate past to stay in...

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 18099 times

Who is online

Registered users: 58gambling, Amythyst, Bing [Bot], birdsong87, exul, firain, ForeverIndecesive, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, IainEtc, KingPingX, lucybrown, Majestic-12 [Bot], Muninn, SeagullParty, Shauna87, sofia996, xdude, Youdoofus