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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Search Blogs

PTSD and attraction #2

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Nov 04, 2013 1:20 am

Ok.

So here is the problem;
At the meetings, I have attracted the wrong people for the wrong reasons. Im attracting people that look at life as weak or strong. I have been placed in the inferior position! meaning low to no status within the group. I have no problem with people thinking I have no status as long as they do not talk to me! However, that is changing. Several people have been slowly seeing my vulnerability and are attacking in subtle ways.. My anonymity is being broken! these people care nothing for me! They have contempt and nothing else! They see me as someone to pick on!

I cant stand up for myself yet! I believe these people see this! I simply walk away from the meetings when they start hassling me. The meetings are extremely important to my psychological growth.

Im fine with people who give me the proper level of status. Im not good with people that are disrespectful and don't care. They are predators who think they have found a weakling. I ignore them. I prey about it! the goal is to finish out the meetings getting stronger! Im attempting to get over or forget about or work through the first family system I came from! its very difficult work and takes along time to work through!
The people in the meetings are making it harder! The less they knew about the real me the better!

Anonymity is what is important!

Im not strong enough yet! Im slowly inching my way back to life! and they are over running me!

ITs bound to happen! when you open up to the wrong people, they put you in the friend zone like your undesirable. I choose not to be in any zone..

I do not like predator types. They sense blood and start moving in my direction. They start opening up to me with contempt and a smile! They sense vulnerability and weakness and ready themselves for an exciting attack! for them its just entertainment! the only way to stop it is to stop it!

I do not have the social skills or the ability to be an adult to stop the attacks.. Im not able to respond.
I will have to try something else!

The end goal is to stay in the meetings with out being bothered by these creeps... I need the help! That is why Im in recovery!

Im vulnerable! People sense this growth and are on the attack! I have to trust God! and keep going!

I really need to start trusting God again! really learn to trust again!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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