Ok.
So here is the problem;
At the meetings, I have attracted the wrong people for the wrong reasons. Im attracting people that look at life as weak or strong. I have been placed in the inferior position! meaning low to no status within the group. I have no problem with people thinking I have no status as long as they do not talk to me! However, that is changing. Several people have been slowly seeing my vulnerability and are attacking in subtle ways.. My anonymity is being broken! these people care nothing for me! They have contempt and nothing else! They see me as someone to pick on!
I cant stand up for myself yet! I believe these people see this! I simply walk away from the meetings when they start hassling me. The meetings are extremely important to my psychological growth.
Im fine with people who give me the proper level of status. Im not good with people that are disrespectful and don't care. They are predators who think they have found a weakling. I ignore them. I prey about it! the goal is to finish out the meetings getting stronger! Im attempting to get over or forget about or work through the first family system I came from! its very difficult work and takes along time to work through!
The people in the meetings are making it harder! The less they knew about the real me the better!
Anonymity is what is important!
Im not strong enough yet! Im slowly inching my way back to life! and they are over running me!
ITs bound to happen! when you open up to the wrong people, they put you in the friend zone like your undesirable. I choose not to be in any zone..
I do not like predator types. They sense blood and start moving in my direction. They start opening up to me with contempt and a smile! They sense vulnerability and weakness and ready themselves for an exciting attack! for them its just entertainment! the only way to stop it is to stop it!
I do not have the social skills or the ability to be an adult to stop the attacks.. Im not able to respond.
I will have to try something else!
The end goal is to stay in the meetings with out being bothered by these creeps... I need the help! That is why Im in recovery!
Im vulnerable! People sense this growth and are on the attack! I have to trust God! and keep going!
I really need to start trusting God again! really learn to trust again!