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OMNICELL
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Consumer 6
 
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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prayer

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Jun 27, 2013 4:19 am

Im learning to take everything to God... I have a tendency to want it my way; take my will back! I lie to myself, ( wanting of my will) with something strange and murky, that way I don't take the blame for the action. Taking my will back, hurts me. My obsessive lust for people places or things gets in the way. For example:

A beautiful young women appears to be interested in me. I never know for sure until I ask her out! So, Im in half fantasy land! I see it could be trouble, yet, she is so beautiful. So, I take it to God, most of the time its "no" from God. Or, if I get better its up to me, I take the consequences of a grown man.

I would rather stay with God.

I must trust God and stay with God.

If the answer is NO! its NO!


I have to learn to stay with God and let go of the world. Its not easy. I feel like Im missing out! However, Ive watched my choices in the past, and God was correct. I would have been in great trouble if I had not listened. However, I want to live my life! I would like a little freedom with my temporary stay on planet earth.

Im starting to pray for a better place to create art. Im not comfortable in the church Im practicing in.
---------------------

Ive had several conversations with people lately. Im much stronger then I used to be.

At the meetings:

I do not know it these meetings are a good place to pickup women; even thou women are showing interest. The women are flighty at best. I will pray about this.

I have to keep forgiving and praying. Life is an interesting place!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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