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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (948)
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- July 2019
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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physical touch

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jul 31, 2018 4:14 pm

ITs hard; all this manifesting and trusting in the universe; it takes time to manifest things; I dont have time and I dont like it; I want it now; right now, because Ive been waiting for a long long long long time for things!

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Physical touch is where its going! The ability to see myself touching a women; its blocked and I get a horrible squarely feeling when I attempt to see myself doing this! I see the abusers from the past standing right behind me; they are holding me like a puppet controlled by strings! Im now attempting to deal with the PTSD problems and move forward and beyond them; I call this resistance and man; theirs over the head amount of fear based terror based horror based resistance from every overwhelming angle for me to get close to someone! Im being controlled!
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The goal is to get into relationships with women! Get used to it again where Im at in life; financially! However, Im not settling or less then what Im worth! I have to work with the universe and have the right persons brought to me; and this scares me a bit! I dont want the wrong ones!
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This is all hard! all of it! Ive never had sex with anyone I liked or had a girlfriend that is worth reporting about! Ive never had the girl next door I thought I would meet! I was in abusive situations and their was nothing I could do about it.
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Im now looking for the girl next door; the women next door or in the next city! And their is something fascinating about this; for Im not focusing on the past or anything else; Im suggesting what Im looking for! Im looking for something in the present and future and that is quit interesting! its an act of independence!
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Lots of soulmates out here! more then one; thousands of them! The problem is being attacked for my financial liabilities; I hate being judged by others for anything! I dont know what to do bout it!
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I have to work with the universe to get through all of this somehow! The type of women I want has to understand; she must understand she must understand, understand, understand, understand understand, understand understand!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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