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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/phase_10_30_commitment_in_a_new_life_b-15211_sid-c06131a0b9e97114c995fe04dc751df8.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Fri Apr 14, 2023 3:29 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Phase 10 #30 Commitment in a new life |
Commitment in a new life.... . I come from a breakdown background. I turned into a 4-6 year old when I was 16... I never came out of it; Im much older then 16 now; but Ive been in that stage for most of my life. Ive never been an adult; I was never a teenager; maybe a little; and no adolescence; nothing. . So; at a meeting I heard the concept of; commitment; someone mentioned they never had commitment... They are just learning about commitment... . I said to myself; I am committed to my girlfriend I am committed to my car... . I do not have a girlfriend or a car... These are things of adults; I do not have them. The last time I tried to be innocent and sincere with girl; I was 14 and got slaughtered... . I could never have a car; I never had the money to run one... . Now; Im writing about it first... . Its strange because it takes me back into a realm I got destroyed. Its like being taken back into a battlefield... . However; I know its a sign of normal.. I mean; having relationships as adults and having things like a car; are normal concepts. They are responsable people. I get it... . So; Im talking to God to see where I fit in at... . How can I make the jump back to that place'; cars; girlfriends; acting norma; dressing like a normal person; not like someone hiding on the streets n such.... . So; Ill keep working at it... . Ill start writing stories about such things as if i already have them. I have to grow into them; become what I want first; Ill start writing about pathways to such places and things... and creating steps in my imagination of such places; as if Im getting to such places... and have contacted such places... or Im connecting to such concepts. . Its a jump; it hurts really bad. Its a place I was slaughtered.. So; However, I can see that it would be good for me to become those things... So... Ill start working on it. |
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