Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
Archives
- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Passive aggression, resentments and blaming and no life

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:01 pm

Im attempting to work with source energy of the universe to be freed of these shackles that bind me on earth; the fear of standing up for myself; I have little confidence in myself around others! I learned never to trust anyone for any reason and I turn into a prison camp like victim around any people! I dont trust any of them! I have limiting beliefs concerning everything Im dealing with!
.
I end up in front of others in a state of panic and shock, as if Im being taken advantage of!
.
I dont fight back or say anything; I'm like a 4 year old who says nothing while Im being taken advantage of!
.
The bullies in the world see this weakness! They re manipulates and will hit on me; meaning, try to take advantage of a this weakness; and it works! So, Im stuck, like a 12 year old in the middle of a fist fight I dont want to be in! I just want to go home and draw or make art; I dont want thugs surrounding me and trying to make me look like a fool to everyone else because I want fight! I dont want to be surrounded by my enemies !
.
This whole thing is overwhelming for me and I want to hide in my room under the bed and never come out!
.
I deal with allot of creepy people! Blaming them is not the problem! the problem is standing up for myself! that is the problem; its scares me! Im like a frightened child who is easily taken advantage of! I get " hit on". People see my weaknesses; and Im attack at those levels of weakness! I shun it off! they use indirect aggression against me to get control! I dont fight back, I let it run off my back! They want someone answering to them! I dont want to; their not my boss@!
I know what their doing! they act like Im to weak to fight back! its that simple!
.
I dont like people around me I dont want around me! I dont want certain people ever talking to me; their not safe; they still get away with it! Its overwhelming for me!
.
I have to work with source energy on this; not expect things to be fixed all at once!
.
Clerks! These people Im talking about are like clerks who want to use their position as authority! So, it takes my mind back to when abused!
.
One issue is direction! Im not solid yet in any direction for my life; Im slowly working on that direction! I have to work with God on what I want!
.
I want to win against them; just once, so I can move forward! Im more scared of leaving the abusers in my life; I wont get any attention! and Im scared to death to be thrown away and alone; and this is a huge huge problem! big big big! Im used to giving in and playing passive so I wont be thrown away or given away!
.
The more I write on this; the more I can see that freedom is a state of mind!
.
I have much to work on; one piece at a time; not all at once!
.
I must work with getting my focus on source energy of the universe and trusting the universe can change things for me!
.
I have much to face; Im very scared and a mouse when it comes to people; a scary rat! I want a place to escape them! I dont want personal relationships Im not interested in; I dont want them forced down my throat by sociopaths acting like nice people!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 1766 times

Who is online

Registered users: Allcoulors, AmirElAchmed, Amythyst, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], CarleeB98, covertunsure, exul, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Horrible, ian37, KINDNESSTHERAPY, MSN [Bot], oldsoulvocalist, Sutoria, xdude, Zor