Just crossed the wall for the first time with women; meaning the dissociative wall; been working on this for a long time.
in June I began to ask people out on the steps from 12 step meetings; I asked out several women outside and talked with them twice. that was the first time ive done that since a teenager... I had good general conversations. that was the beginning of it... the preparation for entering the wall.
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Later I talked with another women concerning problems I had talking to women and why; And that the beginning of entering the wall...
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Tonight I talked with 2 quality women about what its like to have women who want to date me approach me and how I handle it; how I could not handle it and freeze up and the truth of how many women Ive done this with and how I observe them and dont date... how I freeze up when they walk by...
By talking so directly to these 2 women; I am opening up about my real problems to quality women; I had to ask them to talk with them about this stuff and if it offended them... The point is; Im talking about the stuff I would to a potential date about. So; Im practicing vulnerability I could not do before...
When wanting to date I could not go beyond the wall and I would shut down. I am not shutting down tonight while talking to these women; thus a manifestation has occurred.
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Aslo; been talking to men about my adolescence development. And slowly opening up to several men about it and growing....
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If I keep this up; I will be better up to speed to handle the right women when they come along.
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The goal is my Asian soulmate wife.