Had the opportunity to talk with a women that was giving me positive body language. I didn't ! I payed for it.
Practice comes in the form of seeing someone and striking. Walk over n talk! open the conversation, tell a story! switch to her, get her to open up, then give her higher value comments and get a phone number!
Practice three conversations a day!
I have to get used to being around women; sitting next to them;. I need my clothing clean, my apartment clean; I hate this f#cking part of it!
I need to heal more, become more present! its happening...
relationships are important! They are very important!
Im moving from being agoraphobic to open. I used to hide in my other church! Now Im at a new church and much more open! Ive moved from a building to the real world. Im more in the outside world! My mind is handling the outside world a bit better!
so far; Saw a gentleman outside the meetings; I ask him if he wanted to ride to the park and see the cultural fair. He said yes! so we went. We met up with several others from the meetings.
I had several conversations. It was practice. However, I was not in control. It was fear, and I felt timid. I was not in control of myself around others, I was swamped. I was needy and insecure and looking around like crazy; feeling un loved, alone and out in the open.
I was not present enough and to scared to really participate as a full person! I was responding and running! I was asking for attention like a child!
The need to not be alone or abandon was very large! so my insecurities were out and about! The key is to accept the truth! and learn from it! I have to be stronger around people. I have to learn to let go!
had several opportunities to talk to women. at least 3. I never took them; or, not yet! Im just waking up!
I am a follower around people, very sheepish and wanting of attention. To turn this around will take work! It will take more practice and work!
At the end of the park day, I saw another person. They said hi. I went over to talk. I talked to long out of neediness. they had to tell me to leave! that was embarrassing. but I got another conversation out of the deal! I have to learn, that every event is not a beer cager! These people are just saying hi, and I am suppose to just say hi! Im not suppose to hi jack them. And this is so very hard when your coming from a back ground like mine.
One more meeting tonight.
Saw a women of interest; I wanted to meet her! I had a friend that could have introduced me! I was not ready because I was not present enough, but I was close, in the sense of asking about it! and Im half trained. Thats the cool thing. Im not there yet. But Im getting trained.
The more social practice, the more I head toward the ability to meet people on my own! And that sounds exhausting, but it is what it is!
And many events I can check out!