If I continue to blame my mother; their will be problems! This suggests more work with resentments!
The idea is; get mother out of the picture! Well, they're really was no real human mother; a psychopath! I must remember this!
You always want your mothers approval; it can make you or break you! However, in my case; all of that must be laid to rest! For their was no one who should have stood in my way!
I was used and brainwashed by a psychopath! And the effects of fear and intimidation are still upon me! And its at a very large and bad level!
I am extremely scared! And still suffer from agoraphobia!
I have not dealt with the intimidation of my mother and the terror of such things! terrified is the right word! for this monster held my life in her hands and then snuffed it out!
Hanging out with monsters is bad news! and I could never get away from her! codependency! and Im trying to get away from her now!
In my memory was a middle class life! it was false! and it was stolen from me and I could never live with it; the stealing of it!
I must go through it; sift through it! work through it; look at it!
the goal is not to have a past, but to move on into what I was originally planning! what I was originally planning on being!
She was disrespectful! This individual was of no regard! However, as a boy, she was paying for everything! and I never knew this!
meaning, she owned the house I was living in! and that would come to an abrupt stop! she got rid of me as fast as possible and never looked back!
I must pray about these things, and work on the resentment of such things, and get to the bottom line of such things!
I had my beautiful neighborhood taken from me as a boy! Yet, how could it be my neighborhood; if I was brought their by sociopaths who cared nothing for my future!
It was all false; including the neighborhood! I came from no where; I came from nothing! I must work on remembering this!