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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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On being an artist!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Aug 19, 2015 3:27 pm

I have to let go of the past and all that I think would have supported me psychologically!

The story unfolds!

The psychopaths have bore children! Why? Manipulation! They will use children to make themselves look presentable! To who?; They will make themselves look presentable to the larger relative family systems; Why?; that the sociopath is excepted by the relatives; by the general larger family system!

Are the children cared about no! Nothing! If they have food and clothing and a place to live! That is luck when dealing with sociopaths!

The sociopaths buy a house in a middle class neighborhood! Why?; to look good to the family system! The bigger family system! Because they are psychopaths; they don't understand! No one wanted them around! They scared the relatives! None of the relatives wanted them around! They were concerned; the relatives!

So, as a child, Im in this house on this street! But these psychopaths are not middle class! They are nothing! They are criminals! This whole thing is a joke!

They will put my brothers and I through this horrible misery! We will be fooled by them and not know that we don't belong anywhere! My brothers and I are being used by these criminals; that is our purpose for these criminals! They are just using us! They don't care what happens to us in any regard! We do not know who we are dealing with or what is going on!

I remember being in this neighborhood and going to the local school; but something is wrong! Im alone to much! These people are not taking care of me! They don't care about my schooling or my future! Something is dreadfully wrong, but I survive and reach out to the others in the neighborhood and try to make a go of it!

Problems;

I do not fit into this neighborhood! These are not my people! These people are snobbish! They are inconsiderate and canseeded! However, they get along with themselves! They are 2 faced and false!

This is not my neighborhood! Something is dreadfully wrong! Soon, people are not treating me for me! They are judging me and trying to make me inferior and I don't understand!

Later; I will understand! I did not come from this neighborhood, nor was I apart of it! I was apart of nothing!

The male sociopath in charge of our family; he acts out; trying to do things to look normal; but he is never working anywhere! I did not know this!

He lives of his wife, buys things to make him look normal like everyone else! He goes to meetings of his interests as if he is middle class and everything is fine! Nothing was fine!

He is a self centered narcissistic sociopath! They are dangerous people because they abuse children! They manipulate children the way they manipulate adults!

Problem; nothing was real! But I did not know it!

I put all my eggs into one basket; I thought I had a mother and father that loved me! I had nothing! These 2 strangers were sociopaths! And or sadistic psychopaths! They were never going to take care of children! They were opportunistic scum!

They moved into a house in a neighborhood they did not belong to! They had no culture or origin or economic class!

Most important; I was apart of nothing! That is what needs to be realized!

I need to go back into the memories and get all good memories of this time period; out of my system! All of it! It was all bad! Everything associated with this vermin was a lie! All of it!

I assigned positive virtue to these people! It was a grave mistake! I did not know who I was dealing with! They were fakes, as their house was fake and their false perceptions of who they were in the community!

They were jokers and liars and fakes! It was all a game for them! They were just having fun and excitement; when they got tired of the charade, they would move on!

I was completely abandon by them! I had no idea what to think or do!

I was living in this house! And the next thing I know; they are gone! No one considered my well being or where I end up! No one considered the years I had lived in this house! What they did was demonic and Un natural and brutal! In human! My mind was ripped apart!

They disrupted others lives with no regard to the children's well being; nothing! No remorse, no conscious! No concern! Nothing! Completely barbaric! In human!

So, I have to work through these years and separate myself from the idea of " mother/father"! It is strong in me that I had a mother n father! I had no mother or father! These were criminal based sociopaths! Nothing more! And I have to wake up and let go!

I came from nothing! The whole of this experience was a ######6 joke! All of it! Unreal! These people were never going to stick around! They were just playing games with other peoples lives! They couldn't care less!

If I was dead or alive; they couldn't care less! Complete sadistic psychopaths!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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