I have to let go of the past and all that I think would have supported me psychologically!
The story unfolds!
The psychopaths have bore children! Why? Manipulation! They will use children to make themselves look presentable! To who?; They will make themselves look presentable to the larger relative family systems; Why?; that the sociopath is excepted by the relatives; by the general larger family system!
Are the children cared about no! Nothing! If they have food and clothing and a place to live! That is luck when dealing with sociopaths!
The sociopaths buy a house in a middle class neighborhood! Why?; to look good to the family system! The bigger family system! Because they are psychopaths; they don't understand! No one wanted them around! They scared the relatives! None of the relatives wanted them around! They were concerned; the relatives!
So, as a child, Im in this house on this street! But these psychopaths are not middle class! They are nothing! They are criminals! This whole thing is a joke!
They will put my brothers and I through this horrible misery! We will be fooled by them and not know that we don't belong anywhere! My brothers and I are being used by these criminals; that is our purpose for these criminals! They are just using us! They don't care what happens to us in any regard! We do not know who we are dealing with or what is going on!
I remember being in this neighborhood and going to the local school; but something is wrong! Im alone to much! These people are not taking care of me! They don't care about my schooling or my future! Something is dreadfully wrong, but I survive and reach out to the others in the neighborhood and try to make a go of it!
Problems;
I do not fit into this neighborhood! These are not my people! These people are snobbish! They are inconsiderate and canseeded! However, they get along with themselves! They are 2 faced and false!
This is not my neighborhood! Something is dreadfully wrong! Soon, people are not treating me for me! They are judging me and trying to make me inferior and I don't understand!
Later; I will understand! I did not come from this neighborhood, nor was I apart of it! I was apart of nothing!
The male sociopath in charge of our family; he acts out; trying to do things to look normal; but he is never working anywhere! I did not know this!
He lives of his wife, buys things to make him look normal like everyone else! He goes to meetings of his interests as if he is middle class and everything is fine! Nothing was fine!
He is a self centered narcissistic sociopath! They are dangerous people because they abuse children! They manipulate children the way they manipulate adults!
Problem; nothing was real! But I did not know it!
I put all my eggs into one basket; I thought I had a mother and father that loved me! I had nothing! These 2 strangers were sociopaths! And or sadistic psychopaths! They were never going to take care of children! They were opportunistic scum!
They moved into a house in a neighborhood they did not belong to! They had no culture or origin or economic class!
Most important; I was apart of nothing! That is what needs to be realized!
I need to go back into the memories and get all good memories of this time period; out of my system! All of it! It was all bad! Everything associated with this vermin was a lie! All of it!
I assigned positive virtue to these people! It was a grave mistake! I did not know who I was dealing with! They were fakes, as their house was fake and their false perceptions of who they were in the community!
They were jokers and liars and fakes! It was all a game for them! They were just having fun and excitement; when they got tired of the charade, they would move on!
I was completely abandon by them! I had no idea what to think or do!
I was living in this house! And the next thing I know; they are gone! No one considered my well being or where I end up! No one considered the years I had lived in this house! What they did was demonic and Un natural and brutal! In human! My mind was ripped apart!
They disrupted others lives with no regard to the children's well being; nothing! No remorse, no conscious! No concern! Nothing! Completely barbaric! In human!
So, I have to work through these years and separate myself from the idea of " mother/father"! It is strong in me that I had a mother n father! I had no mother or father! These were criminal based sociopaths! Nothing more! And I have to wake up and let go!
I came from nothing! The whole of this experience was a ######6 joke! All of it! Unreal! These people were never going to stick around! They were just playing games with other peoples lives! They couldn't care less!
If I was dead or alive; they couldn't care less! Complete sadistic psychopaths!