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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Not having it going on in the teenage years

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:51 pm

I tried to be popular! I was coming from a broken abrupt destroyed home! and, I did not know it! it was broken up on purpose, there was no real need for it to happen! The house owners both went there own way against the children, or leaving the children! both abandon the family system blaming the other! kids were caught in the middle and destroyed! the adults simply wanted the events of a family system to disappear! they had there fun! in a sense, they took the children they used back to the rental store and left, and never returned!

Adolf Hitler made the same decision as my parents! He made the decision to allow his generals to go ahead with decisions to kill excess children within villages, after slaughtering there parents! The general would have the children rounded up, taken to a field and murdered! then buried! sicking! it was all fee choice! he was a murderer! the people I came from were murders murders of children! very closely related to the same nature of Adolf Hitler!

Teenage years!;; I wanted to be popular! I needed the attention! I had no base! I was living with a family, I thought was a family! I was not wanted there! I was not wanted! sociopaths and I do not get along! I did not get along with them, when I found out they never wanted me!, and this was a new family system in a new place, far away from my home town! '

Home Town! I never really had a home or a home town! I never really had anything! or came from anything or anyone! Now they are all gone. I was mad because children should receive from there father or mother! I received nothing; I was gypped out of inheritance! but they were sociopaths! I had no idea when early on! I know now! but being gypped backfired on them; they were not with God! God created a situation that made it impossible for me to take any interest in them once I started getting better! They had nothing on me! they had nothing; no reason for me to go back! the troff was empty! So, like a spiders hole of blackness, I had no reason to stay! I slipped away and never came back!

Im now learning how to heal with in the recovery process!

I have allot of healing to do! I have God and no past family system!! At some point I get stronger and am able to move on!

Women; I had dissociative disorder and have not been able to have girl friends! I could not get near anyone and I was to mentally to be close to people; Impossible!

Now things have changes, specifically in the last year! specifically in the last 6 months! specifically in the last 60 day!

Started working on Dating tapes ( Double your dating!) started this 5 years ago!, Im now applying things! IVe been applying things; one piece at a time, grooming, how to attract! how to work a room and look like an alpha male! how to approach, openers, story telling, building her her up, creating safety and comfort!, keno escalation, more build up, she's now proving herself to me! therefore, its only logical that she give me her phone number when I ask her for it! ( put your phone number down, Ill take out)!@

All of this building confidence! And Ive practiced the basics; saying hello to people! and studying more approach stuff; openers for conversations!

Well, today saw another break through! its been only recently that IVe been hitting on girls that I really thought were hot! And today one of those girls, I opened up on! told her what I really thought! in response to sat down next to me, and we began joking with each other! I got up and went out side, she follow me! we talked about sex and relationship stuff! and looks, and other porn and other stuff! It was the interactions that were so important! and that she is good looking! and Ive fantasized about her plenty! She's with someone! but wants something else! I wont do relationship people; you have to be single!

She asked me a funny question; she asked if I online date! I told her no! I don't need to! When Im ready, I know who to make things happen in groups of people 50 or more or less! and I will walk up and create attraction and ask real people out! I thought it was interesting!

Allot of really good looking girls are taken! its hard! they might think Im cute! and stare at me, but they are with someone else, and this can be very frustrating!

Anyway, opening up on her with confidence was not possible before, I was 2 intimidated! but now I can! or Ive done it this once with this beautiful girl! she wants to read my blogs!


Activities; Ill go with Singer song writer! I would love to talk to God and work through what ever it would take to have a place to be a singer song writer; a practice space! that would be great!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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