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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
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No Mother; causes terror

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Feb 27, 2016 5:55 am

I had no mother; technically their was a person around! but that animal was an anti social psychopath! and they have no connection to children! In my opinion; the psychopath has children for manipulative or exploitive reasons! they don't feel anything for humans accept contempt! they consider humans inferior!

Children might be born for sexual exploitation by the male figure in the house and or many other reasons intended for the exploitation concept!

For me; childhood was good for a few years, until I noticed that I was slipping away! I noticed my schooling slipping away! and I was not able to be successful at anything! Yet, I had planned on being successful!

What I didn't know! Normal parents are interacting with their children on a daily basis! I did not have any interaction from my mother accept to feed me at times! She played no other interest roll!

My father interacted with me when he was home; However, later, I realized in my horror; he was a sociopath who was simply exploiting the family concept for fun!! These type play with the children to get their kicks for a short while! they take no responsibility and could care less about the childs real well being or health! they are only thinking about themselves! The male sociopath will stick around for a few years; yet, as the child gets older, the sociopath knows the child will find out! The child will find out the sociopath is not human and is only interested in his own narcissistic ways! At that moment, the sociopath will make an excuse to leave; pack his backs and never return!

I was abandon by my father first! then left with my mother! By the time I was 10 years old; I was ruined! I was neglected out of interacting with others! my grades were low, as if I was stupid! And I was more n more dissociative and living inside myself and my own head! No one cared!

Then I was dumped by my mother and abandon! I lived with her several times after she left the first time; what a mistake I made! I did not know better!

In the present;

Much grief and pain and disfunction comes from never having a mother emotionally to turn to! No mother! nothing! and the effects of this type of abuse; pure insecurity and terror! I was abandon,. and was to young for such things! it causes damage to my mind; and I was always in a
state of terror!

Now, as I get better, and am looking at re creating my life with Gods help; I find it hard to work through specific times of my childhood; to let go and expand beyond limiting beliefs of a broken 10 year old! its not so easy! I get blocked and stopped by terror insecurity; no mother!

My whole life; no mother, and its taken its tole on me!

Im learning to write out my future plans as if Im living them! its really great and helping to bridge a gap that never got filled in junior high school or high school! I never had a normal junior high or high school; no one was protecting me! I was used and bullied and freaked out; it was all a giant waist of time!

So, as I reconnect to society, and what society has to offer, I deal with the deepest connections with concern! I had no mother; ever! no connection!, and its causing great difficulties in my life as an adult!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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