Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1020)
Archives
- October 2019
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

No love

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:17 pm

What does it cost to take care of your teeth in the United states; I don't have money! I will have to pray about it!

Got through the housing inspection!

Talked this morning at a meeting! Talked about living of off everyone when young! Up to the age of 27; then later, asking for rent money from my mother; over n over n over! I could not function! Before that, I would work at different places! But could not hold a job! I meaning, IVe worked at places for 3 years, 2 years! Flunky jobs! Go nowhere jobs! 2, 3 years! Could not use my talents or utilize my talents!

So, Im watching my teeth rot out and no place to go to get them fixed! Nothing! Nothing I can do! Get each one pulled until I have none left! Horrifying!

Talked this morning about money; The people I lived of off had money! But that was none of my business! I really never saw any! I was to ###$ up!

I wanted to die! I was trying to hide in their houses!

I could not function! I had no family! These were a bunch of ######6 vampires from hell! Satanists! Psychopaths! Molesters!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally went through; apartment inspection over with! Hate those!~ place has never been cleaner!~ It's not cleaning I mind! It's being forced back into reality!

Im almost autistic in my abilities to be part of reality! Im retarded in this area; over slow! Disabling!

Weight lifting is going great! The Gym is and has been my second home for a long while! People know who I am without asking! Im a Gym Rat; kinda! Not really a body builder! Its nice to belong to something like this as a life style; Mountain biking is the same!~ its part of my life; I don't drive! I ride bikes everything all year round!

I have 5 nice bikes! I don't have the money for upkeep on anymore then this!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Father;

Starting to see a bigger picture of things!

He is not wanted by his original family system! His parents and their parents before this; sociopaths!

He is unloved and thrown away!

When he marries; he finds someone just like his mother/father! His wife ends up betraying him the way his mother and father betrayed him! Im assuming he was hoping he found someone that he could work his past life relationships through! Unfortunately it backfired! She nailed him! She hurt him or betrayed him or abandon her husband! His intention was to work through his past, using his new first wife, that will be the mother of his kids!

It all backfires! He ends up spending most of the time going back to school to get out of the relationship! And strange; my mothers background includes only men that dump her or use her; the live of her as they go back to school to get a degree!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me;
Im caught in the crossfire! They both pull out, and never come back! they both stop the marriage, and go their separate ways; neither claims the children! and seems to be permission to dump the children after the divorce

So, Im seeing what I got caught up in! I was not noticed! not loved! either sociopath claimed to owe no one! I was no ones responsibility; they were just their for the fun of it! they were just funn'n! and owed no one anything! meaning, the children belonged to someone else! The house owners ( mother/father) were their for a quick good time! nothing permanent! they were just having fun playing house!

I and my brothers meant nothing to everyone! we were throw aways! its worse then that! We were discarded after the owners had their fun! no relationship! nothing!

We were used and made to believe we belonged to a safe world! it was all a front that they could get away at an opportune time and leave us!

I did not know as a child that I was living with psychopaths! i did not know I was not loved or noticed by anyone! in my fantasy bond world, I thought someone loved me!

I was never asked how I feel! Ever!
Last edited by Snaga on Fri Oct 09, 2015 4:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: per forum rules PM to follow

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 2439 times

Who is online

Registered users: AprilShowers2323, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], CharlesAxots, Charlestal, Charleszom, czfm0626, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, IainEtc, LearningToo, mansnils, mo mo, MSN [Bot], Tyler, willy31