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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (960)
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- July 2019
Writing new stories and meeting new people
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:25 pm
Can I love a women
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:44 pm
Never being loved
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 1:12 pm
High School
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:54 am
Things continue to change
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:53 pm
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Next phase begins!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat May 21, 2016 11:19 pm

What is the next phase; the next phase means the first phase is completed; it means Ill be expressing the next phase for several months, as I grow into it!

I will attempt to describe the next phase!

1. Talk more to beautiful women! Looking at them in the eyes! Becoming friends with them; asking them out! Believe me; this is not easy! It just isn't! Women like man attention! And Im here to give it to them!

2. the establishment of art! This is a brutal cruel concept that was destroyed out of me; simply because my home was destroyed out of me! I must accept things the way there were, and are, and start an art process! Many people like art! many people like to make art! and there are artist! once in awhile there is an artist like me; a person that is called to do it! creativity is my game! abstract art intelligence! yet, because of my situation; Ive been left in the worst of situations to be an artist! However, the goal is to look at things positively! And that is the big lesson of this situation! To change internally! And this will require the forgetting of the past and those of it; a major hardship! Truly! I can see the flare up of memories hitting me as I write this! Its over whelming! Beyond the scope of pain! Yet, they all must go, all of these memories! All of them! And a clear art path established! I don't know how long this will take! This is one of those brutal areas that is an area of the unknown!

3. Keep things clean and invite other over! This is a visualization thing; the last hold out to be myself is my mess! If Im forced to clean it up! I loose all rights to my rebellion!

4. Get my weight down, and manage my shoulder problem! This means, less upper body times in the gym per week!

5. Goals; Im looking to create solid goals with no doubts of what I want! Ultimately breaking through to goals that excite me! It would be great to go up the scale high enough to be excited by the possibilities of a future of fun and success!

6. Soulmate; keep working on this! Its all about seeing it in my imagination first! Walking through it! Keep this alive until there is no doubt!

7. Self image! Im looking to create a confident self image; regardless of my past or background!

Generally, Im looking to come back to reality in the face of the demoralization and in human Un dignified treatment I experienced as a boy! I would like new fresh thoughts of my own, not owned by anyone! I would like to feel that I have support! But support comes from others and God! And this is fine! I would like all memories of the past gone! For it is all fake; I was used!

This phase is a time period of restoration of self, back to being me again! It's not necessarily about becoming super man! Its about becoming myself! Solid; doing the things I would have always done if I had not been hurt!

Getting over the past; getting over the loss of my childhood home!

New avenues to meet people!

Continuation during the day with things I love to do!

If I had several million dollars a year; what would I do if I loved getting up in the morning to do it!

The building of faith, and hope, and trust!

Letting go of people that don't count! meaning; really, letting them go! saying goodbye to them in my mind and heart! don't give them a bit of attention! nothing!

not being desperate when it comes to women! simply find other women! This is huge! really big!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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