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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Next phase begins!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat May 21, 2016 11:19 pm

What is the next phase; the next phase means the first phase is completed; it means Ill be expressing the next phase for several months, as I grow into it!

I will attempt to describe the next phase!

1. Talk more to beautiful women! Looking at them in the eyes! Becoming friends with them; asking them out! Believe me; this is not easy! It just isn't! Women like man attention! And Im here to give it to them!

2. the establishment of art! This is a brutal cruel concept that was destroyed out of me; simply because my home was destroyed out of me! I must accept things the way there were, and are, and start an art process! Many people like art! many people like to make art! and there are artist! once in awhile there is an artist like me; a person that is called to do it! creativity is my game! abstract art intelligence! yet, because of my situation; Ive been left in the worst of situations to be an artist! However, the goal is to look at things positively! And that is the big lesson of this situation! To change internally! And this will require the forgetting of the past and those of it; a major hardship! Truly! I can see the flare up of memories hitting me as I write this! Its over whelming! Beyond the scope of pain! Yet, they all must go, all of these memories! All of them! And a clear art path established! I don't know how long this will take! This is one of those brutal areas that is an area of the unknown!

3. Keep things clean and invite other over! This is a visualization thing; the last hold out to be myself is my mess! If Im forced to clean it up! I loose all rights to my rebellion!

4. Get my weight down, and manage my shoulder problem! This means, less upper body times in the gym per week!

5. Goals; Im looking to create solid goals with no doubts of what I want! Ultimately breaking through to goals that excite me! It would be great to go up the scale high enough to be excited by the possibilities of a future of fun and success!

6. Soulmate; keep working on this! Its all about seeing it in my imagination first! Walking through it! Keep this alive until there is no doubt!

7. Self image! Im looking to create a confident self image; regardless of my past or background!

Generally, Im looking to come back to reality in the face of the demoralization and in human Un dignified treatment I experienced as a boy! I would like new fresh thoughts of my own, not owned by anyone! I would like to feel that I have support! But support comes from others and God! And this is fine! I would like all memories of the past gone! For it is all fake; I was used!

This phase is a time period of restoration of self, back to being me again! It's not necessarily about becoming super man! Its about becoming myself! Solid; doing the things I would have always done if I had not been hurt!

Getting over the past; getting over the loss of my childhood home!

New avenues to meet people!

Continuation during the day with things I love to do!

If I had several million dollars a year; what would I do if I loved getting up in the morning to do it!

The building of faith, and hope, and trust!

Letting go of people that don't count! meaning; really, letting them go! saying goodbye to them in my mind and heart! don't give them a bit of attention! nothing!

not being desperate when it comes to women! simply find other women! This is huge! really big!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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