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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/new_things%3B_new_start%3B_lets_start_from_the_beginning_b-13746_sid-15d40b70ee34b69a1d247f3baebe211b.html |
Author: | OMNICELL [ Sat Jun 19, 2021 9:59 pm ] |
Blog Subject: | new things; new start; lets start from the beginning |
Lets start from the beginning; . Many things happening. . Several years back I started going into monk mode... . I gave up my interest in everything; I had no more interest in women. I did not want them nor want them around me; nothing; I could have sex with them; I would not respond to them or could not; even if I wanted to; NO! to frightened. I wasnt getting anywhere. I wanted to get somewhere with someone. anyone. . So; I started dropping out of everything; Now; after several years of work with several different people from the program of recovery; Im coming back now. Am I completely healed or cured; no! In fact it feels like I may be experiencing just another round. But things are different. . I know Im becoming social again. Met a friend; he was my sponsor years ago; still my sponsor from the groups. Im now at the gym; he helped that situation. and Im social again and talking to others again. As if very little has changed. . Although I wanted to go only 2 days a week; Im now going three days a week. I have hurt shoulders... Thought it might be a problem; but I talked to a trainer and got things figured out.. . . Im new to social; real social; really being myself. Ill have to practice being myself; Ill wait for the universe to send its plans on how to do this. . Social; Im starting... or starting from the beginning; really! . Drums; Im learning how to hold the sticks... Im a new drummer.... So; its a time of practicing everything. . Ive been waiting a long time to get to this place of starting new socially. What does this mean? It means; Ill learn how to be social again; being my real self in front of others; this means massive massive amounts of protected practice... |
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