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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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New Social capacity; from anti social to getting help

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Apr 02, 2020 5:22 am

Had some bad events happen; necessary I guess from the higher form of universal intelligence; my higher power; creating situations that curtailed many social experiments and false support; to getting back on my feet reaching out to new support.
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With a background like mine; the middle class just won't do. I need anti social traumatized people; broken injured people looking for change within the recovery process who are heading back to the middle class. And Im finding it.
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When one has CPTSD and looking for help and connection; church is the last place on earth to go. So; I go into the recovery rooms looking for people just like myself.
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Lately Ive let go or working on letting go or accepting that Ive let go of several people who had no business in my life to start with; one more set of fake integers stealing me blind predatorizing in one for or another.
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The opportunity to meet and visit new people was opened to me. I took it. That is important; I took it; it was opening up to me.. And I took it. I visited today; it was the beginning of a new era for me. Im slowly coming back to my own version of the middle class.
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I had middle class friends when a child; but when I was hurt; they all abandon me. I was not just devastated; I was in shock. And curious; How could this be; Why was I being blamed for what abusers did to me. Later I learned they never liked me or accepted me in the first place; I never knew because I was 2 young; its sickening; but I was 2 young. I did not know the evil of man or its children.
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So; finally now; as I slowly get better and choose to go forward with my life; new people are presented to me that represent a merrier of myself; someone trying to get back into the middle class from an anti social protectant position. Using middle class people for this would be worthless; it has to be broken anti social people who are purposely struggling to find their way back; with Gods help; to middle classism. And I am no different; and it's working. and its good to have friends. Its a bit different I mean; and its strange. Im a decent innocent person from the middle class when I was a child and I shall return to it but not by way of middle classism or its people. Instead; I go to the house of the broken and forge a new path with other brothers to this destination of sanity; the middle class.
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God is working in my life and leading me to the right people and places and things.
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I tell God what I want; I dont ask. I tell God as if Ive already been doing it and thanking him for it.
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The next area Ill keep working on is a wife.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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