Its a new beginning; what does it look like! it means much at the lower end of things is still up in the air! things are not entirely worked out! Im still in the past, moving toward source energy God!
Part of me is in a new beginning! The goal where God is leading me; back to the innocent independent start from age 4 to 8 years old! and God is bringing me back to this state; this was a time that I had many dreams and goals and ambitions; never thinking my parents owed me anything! When young; it was more about my own adventures; I could not wait to start them! I got tripped up by psychopaths! unfortunately! brutal and serious! life/death; much like being in a car wreck and receiving a coma for years and years!
So, Im now breaking ground back in around others! Im starting to interact again! slowly! Women thing is slow process; dating! I dont know who to date! Im working with source energy for that; the laws of attraction!
I have people I can date; all the wrong people! Im not interested; its a waist of time! '
Ive been around the recovery process for years; these are not women Im interested in dating; they have to much baggage, and they never take any responsibility for their own actions; kind a pathological!
So, starting over means working with source energy God! The goal; turn to God first before I turn to anything of the physical world! meaning, shields up source energy; shields up! This means; God first, bring the shields up so I think of God first and have his protection when Im coming up and around people! its a kind of confidence! its a sign of how to handle people !
My arts; Im waiting on God for this! slowly asking what he wants me to do; so I can get into it; I have much hatred and fear surrounding it! This is brainwashing from my childhood! Im attempting to get God to bring me back to my original interests in life! Im asking him or this! I believe he will if I keep working with him!