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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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moving forward through PTSD

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Nov 01, 2017 6:16 pm

My gaol is a girlfriend! What does this mean; it means a real girlfriend; it does not have to be someone I last with for long! It means getting through brutal levels of low self esteem! IT means getting through depersonalization problems from Dissociative disorder; seeing everything as if Im looking through a TV screen; not connected when outside in the 3d world! IT means working through PTSD when it kidnaps my mind from triggering as I get physically closer to others to talk! It means, letting of nervousness when up close next to others; it means practicing a script on others and getting conversation down to an art form!
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When I was younger, I was a throw away! This means people could swing on me or treat me horribly because I was not wanted; no one cared! They did not want me around and they did not want me period! I had no one! I was completely alone in the world in every direction!
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When dealing with people now; Im naturally disagreeing with them, bantering with them a bit; back taking with them a bit; not much! I know the consequences when young! the possibility of violence was not about violence, it was about demoralization! having a parent or step parent swing on me out of hated and or contempt because I was in their house and they didnt love me or want me! However, I found out I was dealing with psychopaths that manipulate weak men into relationships! These weak men were told I was a trouble maker or the enemy! And in reality; I was; I was a decent person and the enemy of the psychopath! I want them all exterminated from this planet! all of them! no questions! all sociopaths and psychopaths must die!
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At this point in time; God does not want me starting any civil wars over psychopaths! He would rather have me buy lego train sets and and create odd track designs!
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Because I was shut down when younger; I have my work cut out for me to understand how to interact with others! Im trying; its very hard to come out of dissociative disorder! Its harder to get up close to people again after being so demoralized by the people in my country!
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The goal is to talk to women again and get a girl friend and experience it! Ive never allowed anyone to get in close to me; most of society is to immature! However, Im changing!
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The main key; I stay out of it and bring God in front of me; ( source energy); and allow source energy to do his work and I stay out of it! this means, I dream and pray about what I want and source energy brings the situation to me and I stay awake to receive it!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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