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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Moving forward

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:28 pm

I talk allot about relationships. Relationships and work are destroyed through Chronic CPTSD And Dissociative disorder..

SO, I talk about relationships and hobbies; those are the things most effected...

Im getting very close to asking out several girls for dates. Ive worked on my social skills and attractions skills to the point that I can attract and approach.. I have interested parties.. However, Im wondering how I look and far in the real world. Most of the girls I know are from 12 step groups.. Im not in the real world.

One girl I have to let go of. Time and God are heading me in the right direction. She had no conscious. Its impossible! One has to let such people go regardless of the fantasy attached to them. I mean nothing to her at this point. I am a complete stranger!

--------
Im not used to girls.. I will have a very fun time getting used to them, I cant wait..

Im not sure what good looking means anymore. Im attracted to girls that I like, but they are not the worlds greatest standard and I don't seem to care, I think they are beautiful... Im not sure I understand.

Should I go out the the best looking girls I can find... Hmmm...., Or, those that Im attracted to...

Im still day dreaming...

Im finally cleaning up my apartment... it was so bad that it was effecting my clothing, and I got complaints.. This is part of the dissociative world that Im slowly coming out of. Im stripping the apartment of everything.. Getting it back into working order.. Ive thrown out almost all my clothing. Im getting rid of the bed, in place of something much smaller and workable. If Im going to have women over, it must be a clean place.

Im praying all the time. I need a greater relationship with God.

My art life is dead. The PTSD and messed relationship stuff has ruined it. My nervous system is to taken over and has no room for anything other then the trauma its dealing with. I hope levels go down that I can start the music stuff again. The girl thing gets in the way. I fall in love then I have to deal with the rejection; This eats up everything..

hopefully things will pass.

I have allot of grieving to do...

Still have a problem buying things to avoid my pain; Im hoping a new thing will kill the pain from bad relationships..

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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