Our partner

User avatar
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1138)
- January 2021
I could not compete because of my avoidant behavior
   Tue Jan 19, 2021 4:48 am
keep working at it
   Mon Jan 18, 2021 4:17 am
Wake up! Trying to become present
   Sun Jan 17, 2021 7:48 am
Planning life as an AVPD
   Sat Jan 16, 2021 7:24 am
Another break through
   Fri Jan 15, 2021 4:51 am
bulling and apologizing
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:17 pm
My work; to get up close in my imagination
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 7:17 am
Get right with God; God is saying
   Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:02 am
The message about the sociopath
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 2:24 pm
Moving forward
   Sat Jan 09, 2021 4:53 am
Beginning to move forward
   Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:11 pm
Im alone again; things are changing.
   Thu Jan 07, 2021 10:17 am

+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

moving forward at the beginning!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Nov 29, 2016 3:39 am

My social experience in this life was destroyed completely! Its slowly coming back! Im very much like a new high school student that has no social experiences and is showing up for events but doesn't have much popularity! but is strong enough to show up! but that is all! not much notice by anyone! lots of people see him or me as weird! but Im doable! meaning, I can manage to show up! and Im not completely comatose!

The point is; Im on the right track but many if not most will not notice or appreciate! they are seeking their own popularity! and I mean nothing to them! I do not respond to these people; they are a waist of time for me! I have much deeper constraints! Im trying to get the basic interests back in my life of being alive! most of the people Im around, I did not choose! most of them are part of the recovery process! they see me, judge me; ask someone else about me; its negative! and Im labeled and its over before it starts! However, I need the recovery process! Im not popular! most of the interest in me is quick!

Im not controlled or manipulated material so Im of no value to anyone! Im way out in left field! I have not have a family for 45 years! Im learning to have God in my life and slowly learning to come back from what destroyed me when young! no one around me can appreciate any of it! God has to be something or someone that brings life back into me and hope! I have hope; now; I need more decent real people; I have to visualize these people! the problem is! I have no money and no middle class standing! meaning, I come from no money! this can be a problem of whom I want to associate with! I might have the conservative values of those with smarts and money, but those people; they dont see me!

So, I have my work cut out for me! I dont kiss up to anyone! I allow those I dont like or respect to say what they will to me in the recovery process! I dont care, they dont mean anything to me anyway! They dont know me or want to know me! I mean nothing to them because I refuse to tell them anymore then the basics! Im getting the recovery I need but not the personal people I would like to spend time with!

I will have to take this to God!

Im an interesting person; So, I know that women are always interest; some?! Im getting better at knowing Im an interesting person! and I know women like interesting men! and Im an interesting man! So, things are picking up in all directions! However, I dont people please! I do at times because I have dissociative disorder and Im scared to be around people! but in general! Im not showing the real talented person and Im not understood! Im buried within myself! Im getting better! I act as if Im one person; when Im really someone else; but I wont be that other person until Im in the right safe environment where I can flourish!

The problem is; Im not around college people! Im around lower level situations at times! Im generally being slowly brought back to life by the recovery people! no one ever asked any questions! They see you at face value and judge you at face value!

im an artist; Im not in the right environment for this!

The girls I ask out have been at meetings! I dont know anyone else! and I have to work with God on this to get more social!

I ride bike, dont have a car! Im slowly attempting to learn how to wash my clothing! I still dont like people in my apartment! its not enough personal space! I dont like others in my space! its about feeling safe! and I dont keep any thing clean!

I have allot of work to do with God! I allow others to see me as nothing! and leave it at that!~

I have to work with God to find my tribe of people! where they are! who they are!~ Ive been lost as to who I belong to; what girls to ask out! its not about high or low, but being with the women of my tribe! who are they! my tribe! What groups are " me"!

These are the next questions to ask! Im simply attempting to learn how to be in the here now and be stable again! its happening!

Im in the middle of this fight to come to! I lost everything when young and Im attempting to regain it again!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 3310 times

Who is online

Registered users: Allcoulors, AngeAotearoa, Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Majestic-12 [Bot], Philonoe, ShadowsMoon, Snaga, Wally58