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- October 2019
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moving forward and strength

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Nov 12, 2015 6:29 pm

People don't like to be left behind! And Im tired of it and starting to understand it! And they will do anything to stop their social status dropping that they don't look like a fools! I mean; they've been trying all this time to look pius and all spiritual like! If out do them and leave; the light will shine on the fact they are in love with themselves; and they are all they think of!

Im having situations where parents are telling their children not to touch or play with me! Just say no! So the kids come up or run up next to me; then stop and go around me so they don't touch me or invite me to play!
The parents are the ones sending the message that their in control here! They use their children as pawns! It's a kind of blackmail!

Its like saying ' if you make us look bad in front of others, by exposing that we are not spiritual, but in love with our selves and we are all we think about, then; we will make you look like a freako that is not allowed around children:" black mail! Wont work on me; Im to far along in my recovery! I can say goodbye to all of them!

The kids will now come up next to me but be forced to keep the other kids from coming around me! It puts me in the center of the victim bad person roll! The kids are protecting other kids from being around me! And its in public! And its done to null my social status! The parents are putting me in my place! What they don't know is; God is running the show! Im already recovering past anywhere they understand! If them and their children don't ever return! I will miss the children but I will be fine! I will not miss the adults; ###$ them to hell! And the kids; when the parents arnt looking! Come over to me and start beating on me and wanting to be chased again or they steal my hat and I have to run after them! But they've been told not to prompt me into action; instead don't do anything that would suggest I cant control myself! In other words they're trying to make me look bad! Considering who these sycophants are; this is understandable; underhanded but understandable!

As I get stronger; it does not matter! Its tuff; Im tuffer! God has me using these people to get better and they know it and cant do anything about it! the last thing they want; helping Omnicell get better and dumping their influence! These people have the arrogant narcissistic belief that they are in control! And they will use their kids or anyone else to keep that fantasy rolling!

Why am I around people like this in the first place! Well,! Like anything else in life! You starting out with the bottom people! The people on the lower shelf life! And you get used to that, learn to negotiate that; learn to express yourself at this level with these people and move up the ladder to better people! You start out at the beginning and this is who you got! Deal with it with Gods help!

Im always one step ahead of everyone! Especially those enemies that are trying to bring me down!

But this is the kind of $#%^ I deal with on a daily basis from the recovery places I surf! And its important to get it out; get it off my chest!

The main problem is; I'm around the wrong people! Im around people of low self esteem that want to make a name for themselves! I come along and out do them; they want payback!

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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