| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/moving_forward_and_dealing_with_a_narc_b-13337_sid-ab7d22ea93b6e10221c3c393e9a5150e.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Sat Jul 04, 2020 4:42 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Moving forward and dealing with a narc |
Im dealing with a classic narc from my meetings; she is a classic narcissist in all its horror; using me completely to hide her covert condition from others; I see through her so I dont want her around me. Any time someone associates with a narc; interacting with them is trouble and will bring trouble; I grey rock them as much as possible and stay away from them. . Things are strange; Im getting better in my personality; but I have to learn to feel and be safe; very hard for me to do; go back into life feeling safe again; but Im doing it very slowly and cautiously,. . Im doing art work again; this is miserably hard and will be for sometime until I make a commitment to it. Im working at it everyday. Im overwhelming myself; its about believing I deserve it. That means old thoughts of times I was taken advantage of; they must be processed and worked through so I can do what I want now. . Im not sure about Art but Im sure about the beginnings of music; Because Ive broken through that; ive been able to create and play a song that looks like its going to be completed; and I have a singer to sing it; I could sing it but having a singer makes me committed so someone to finish the piece and practice it with them; and practicing things in the real world is what Im looking to do. ,. The heart break; The heartbreak of this new life comes when I do things without certain people that left my life when young; that is what hurts so much. How do I deal with the pain; as I create a new life and God brings me new people. I see myself in this new life without the friends I had when young; God pulled those monsters from me because they were monsters and bullies and I never new; I had no idea; they were not equals and they never saw me as equals and I had no idea; I did not know I was on a sinking ship but someone took the ship and sank it. Im better now; but still; this hurts so much; I loved those people with all my heart because Im a decent person; they never loved me they hated me from the beginning and never told me; covert manipulators; opportunists. . So; Im traumatized and shocked by what I went through; now I have the opportunity to start a new life and it scares the hell out of me; but it is coming about but its not here yet; Im still not safe yet; still working on it. I never new it was going to be this way; as a small child I had the world in front of me; I had no idea I would go through something like this where I would be completely taken out of my home and destroyed and set adrift for the rest of my life; F_CKing Psychopaths.... . So; the most important thing right now is Art and creating Art on a daily basis and watching a video on usage of the software I use for Art and practicing; and their it is for now. . I want my life back; I remember it; it will take work to get it back and feel safe; I just want to feel safe more then anything else. |
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