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- June 2021
Problems with women
   Mon Jun 14, 2021 12:00 am

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Money and women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:19 pm

If I want to date women; even tho Im old; I have to get rid of the money aspect of things; I don't have any money; Im not suggesting the universe wont bring me money; Maybe Ill have to look at that.
The point is; I don't know what to be around women; “ Hi, Im a nice guy, and I have no money?”
Whats wrong with having no money! its frustrating, also, she is my guest; I have no car.
As I write this; the first thing that comes to mind; either shagg the ###$ out of her or get a girlfriend; the right one.
Im starting to see it; its all about conversation. If she hasn't got the conversation; use her body. But dat wont last long. One more free body parts; but she has to go; then Im back to where I started; I don't have the right person.
So; with no money; she is my guest; but I have no money to shower her with; that doesn’t compete; that brings shame to me... and its almost impossible. if not impossible. I really mean it.
She is with me and costing money; money I don't have. Im not stingy; so how can this work.
This crosses the one barrier I don't want to cross. ITs about money.
With the right girl; you know! thats the only way I can put it; with the right girl. the rest are a waist of time. their cute and I want to stuff their holes, fill their holes; stretch them holes. But I don't feel like a man if I cant take care of her; something is wrong.
With the right women; its about conversation. Ive been around the wrong women; generally, its their attitudes and behaviors; their out before they start.
ITs about their intellect; talking. Ive taken girls out who purposely wouldn't open up when I knew they could; if they opened up; it would make us both even across the board; but strongly they wouldn’t; I know what thats about; its about manipulation.
They have to be nice girls; not modern day predators. So sick of this.... Ive had opportunity after opportunity with these kind of women; good looking predators; its as if their behavior can be anything they want; doesn’t matter; Im like; I don't want them in my life or around me; and they look at me like Im a weakling, when in reality; Im testing them; they fail before we get started.
I've had women; young women like me; finally stayed away from them; their behavior; they were told it was there behavior; did they change it; no; they claim that if lots of people don't like them then thats their problem. really?
I thought I could sleep with anyone; but I cant; because Im to chicken to deal with unsafe women. Whats their motives; just sex? really? Im to chicken to deal with abandonment. It doesn’t feel manly. I feel like Im getting used. It doesn’t solve the problem. The problem is poverty.
Ive never found any women to be my friends; its all #######4! all of it.
I've never found any women to my friends. I dont get it. And Ive never found any women I could make mistakes with; they start monkey branching; looking for something new or something else; hypergamy. I dont get it. Maybe I was lied to when young; maybe women are not suppose to be apart of a mans life; thats the way it seems; it seems unnatural; I dont get any of this; something is wrong....
If given the chance; women will laugh in my face or try to find a weakness to shame; and if shamed publicly; other women will show up to join in. But if I women is forced to admire me for who I am; they wont; they never show up; not unless a man is good looking or has resources.
I had a women laughing at me the other day while I was playing the piano; what I found interesting; this idiot actually thought I was listening to her; and then this brought another women over who put her arm around me and tried to shame me along the conversational lines of the other women. I just walked away. I walked away wondering why women take this stance in the first place. Once a women crosses my lines; she out; these women were done numerous years ago; thats why I dont bother with them; I was never entering the room to talk to them or interact with them; I was entering the room to play the piano; I had no idea they were going to interrupt me.

Im wondering why? why? do I bother with these worthless people. The shaming problem with women is everywhere; thats all it is. if they cant shame you in a conversation; their is no conversation.
Quality women; where are they! Im afraid I don't have the money for them; possibly, if God brought one to me.
ITs funny, Ive attracted more beautiful women then a town of men could ever dream; and its done me no good; nothing; Im no better then the shy guy that sits at home on Friday night with no place to go; no one to date.
I cant see women as friends of mine.
I can see women as friends of mine if Im in their economic bracket.
Who wants to go through the humiliation of women backing out on me because of my lack of money. Who would want to go through this.
Ive had real problems with CPTSD. This does not go well with the average women. They don't seem to have any conscious about anything. They make me out to be a weakling and make fun of me as if Im a scared little boy; and thats why I don't interact with people. What happened to the people in my country; what happened to them; that they would turn into such corrupt weirdo’s. I mean; I know what happened and why; thats causing this problem with women; but theirs nothing I can do about it.
The best I can do is keep working with the universe.
Heres the real deal; shame; I don't want to accept myself as someone with no money and feel free and good to talk to women; but Im going to have to; and it bothers me; but it would also be freeing and good for me. but Im so scared and so tired of starting over with nothing and protective qualities like money; because Im not around others with money thats safe. its about the quality of life and success.
Where have all the good women gone? Theirs plenty of them; but Im not up for meeting them because I have no money; and thats not fair; but I have to get to a point of accepting myself where Im at; and I don't feel safe; I don't feel safe without money and no car and meeting someone; this does not show the deeper better parts of my personality.
Ive never been around the right quality women; nor do I have a clue on how to jump that fence. Or, Im to proud to jump that fence. I don't know what to do. Im scared of not being accepted one more time for who I am; who wants to go through this over n over.
Success; success occurs when Im willing to do the things others discard who are not willing to do the things necessary for success; how bad do I want it; I might have to become a machine.
I have to deal with college grads; women who have gone to college; I have to; thats where Ill meet my interests; but how; so; thats what I will work on. Ive tried women who are from the streets or down and out and abused and.......... Nothing! it was a good idea; but they have to many behavioral problems and lack of education and ignorance. Ive had plenty of them fall in love with me; genuinely; but it never went anywhere; they never took any responsibility for any part of their own lives; nothing; no conscious.
Im not sure how im going to climb the ladder to better quality women; I dont know; Ill start writing about it. its very scary not having the right amount of money! Im using this as an excuse; and I suppose it is. Its all scary for me; all of it; I can feel it; the ability to get up front and be myself and be up to speed with myself; all scary; horribly scary.
ITs funny how sex is plentiful; but useless. And I dont know why? I guess Im mad because it doesn’t lead to anything but abandonment. When I have sex with them; their gone and I haven’t really solved any problems with women. Because the problems with women are about going up the ladder to the upper part of the tree to get the best apples.
How can I go up the tree and get the best apples when I have no money; but I have to know my worth and do it anyway. talk her into it because I am worth it; but I am worth it. thats whats strange about all this.
Im suggesting Im not worth it; but I am worth it; so; I have an identity image problem; not surprising; I have dissociative disorder.
I have allot of damage to my personality when young; It didnt ask for. So; all of this is hard.
Its about connecting with the right people. And; what happens when I have no money; after a certain amount of time..... Will it last. should I care?
PTSD; my PTSD and her children? Man; I dont know!
Last edited by Snaga on Sun Jun 23, 2019 2:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: swear filter

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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