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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
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dealing with life from zero to 18
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Things are changing
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Dissociation
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Love
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bulling and meditation and connection and...
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Bulling and meditation and connection and...
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Childhood reconnection;
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Memories of key purpose!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:36 pm

PTSD; big problem when Im simply sitting in a group of people! ITs very hard to be present! I can see the past windows! 4 or 5 of them!


Memories of key purpose! (The tide has changed); Thats an old statement your Grandparents used to suggest that things are now in my favor! And they are!

Im not in the middle ground anymore! Or, Im solidly in the middle exploring with more vigor and passion; more curiosity about self and my future! Im starting to come back!

Ive been on this site for about 5 years! Seems like yesterday! All blogs concern the same thing! They are support material for the future of my growth! Im slowly coming back to self!

Im starting to see it; to remember who I was and what I wanted and what I dreamed about!

As a small boy, I wanted the same things as anyone! Its very very hard to look at! As I know what the future will be! I know because Im the adult! However, I can look back at the child and see the fun and gladness of a wonderful future! But that wont happen! I will be destroyed!

The idea; get in touch with myself at 8 years old and see exactly what I was thinking and feeling and re hook to that time period! Go from childhood to now; thats the goal!

I had happiness and gladness at that time in 1970! Now, Im looking to hook back up to myself and my memories before those scum bags destroyed it! Worthless filth!

`
I had a life and goals! and life was presented to me as normal! but it was not normal! it was preditorial; what these vermin did to little kids!

If you can understand! all of my complaints are about what these people did to me from 3 1/2 to 18 years old! The whole thing was like being in a furnace; being burned to death! The whole of my existence! I was destroyed by the time I was 18 years old! Who in Gods green earth would put innocent children through something like this! They are under age! their just children! Thus is the unfortunate plight of those under the rule of a psychopath/sociopath!

ITs my job to get my original life back; thats what this exposure writing is all about! I continue to uncover more n more stuff!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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