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OMNICELL
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Love and acceptance

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Nov 16, 2014 3:03 am

I never had any love from my mother; she was a psychopath! or sociopath! after awhile, whats the ######6 difference! seems like if she is domesticated, that means she's a sociopath, if she is criminally based, she's a psychopath! who ######6 cares, in the end, it all seems the same!

A mother; when you approach her, loves you, and holds you and accepts you, then fills you with love! she wants to fill you and accept you, and then send you on your way! She is sending you into another women's arms! that you leave the nest and find other women to share your body!

My mother purposely would not accept me! that I break and go back to her control! I go back to her control for love, for an empty love I never got! and out of fear and anxiety and hopelessness I go back to her scared to death of rejection, hopping she will love me so I can feel completed! or whole!

The world is a scary place without your mothers love!

But my mother is a sociopath! and manipulates the humans! she does not love anything! she is a praying mantas waiting silently to attack! she is a bug or an insect looking to feed and nothing more! it is all a game or a trap, nothing more! What do I do! you give up! and life has no meaning or interest anymore!

Im looking to get enough love to move, or be on my way! and how do I get a mothers love to move to another women! if my mother wont give me that love! where do I get it! I end up going back to her for love!

I was never loved by my mother! where do I get it from! How am I suppose to heal from the lack of a mother in my life, if I have no mother in my life! that is what Im working on!

Im working to get my mothers love, feel good about myself, then drop myself into another women's arms!

Im getting closer! Allot of this has to do with therapy, God, and 12 step groups! Im trying to do this without a family! and its very hard! but possible!

Im to worthy to be treated the way Im being treated! the streets are cold place, ruthless, I have not much else! I have a place to live! most people don't call me or want anything to do with me because they wanted something from me in the first place! after awhile I get shunned!

Im attempting to work through that time period of being rejected by my mother, and getting if filled up! My father used take the place when I was a child! but he was a worthies scum back who abandon the family when I was 10 years old! when he found out he had to take responsibility for his children he left! he showed his real face and never returned! he was a bad bad person! and should have never been in my life in the first place!

The other place of sadness was my neighborhood! for it was a false venture! my mother was in control of everything! she would move into an area, then pack and leave after we were established and I had made friends! the last time I had created a full life! but I did not know she was actually planning the whole end of it! she would lead you on, thinking you were safe and secure, when you started to relax, and get used to life as a decent human being she pulled the plug on the whole venture, and you collapsed into the abyss created by the illusion of perminence!

She was a sadistic sociopath and did exactly what sadistic sociopaths do! I was unprepared for it! I did not have any idea what she was until it was 2 late! I knew what she was, I did not know what she was capable of or what she would do! I thought I was safe! nothing is safe around a ######6 psychopath! they are the most dangerous people for children in the world! They have no rules when it comes to children, they will destroy them! they have no conscious! nor remorse, no guilt! it is pure evil! They see everything in terms of strength and weakness! they assess the situation to determine if they can overcome another human being, and if they find you to old or to young or to weak, they attack! it gives them power!

So I am trying to reestablish relationships that I may interact and regain love! more love, that I may graduate out of my mothers arms and fall into anothers! go from the nest, into another women's arms! For those who don't want to help! ###$! bye!

And if I keep going with Gods help this will happen! Im at a point of wanting that love to finish this equation! I have to trust God! that God brings the right people to me!



Women; Most women I have met know what Im doing;; they know Im looking to graduate out of that nest and they wont help me! they are ######6 bitches! they know Im trying to become independent from my mother, and they rub it in my face! they wont give or help! they just spit in my face and laugh at my situation! they are man haters! and it seems that most are! but not all! but its treacherous going to n fro looking for the right women to help! you can emotionally and psychologically get your head taken off if your not careful!

Lots of people out here in LA LA land that trip you up! they are not on my side!

Do not give what is valuable to pigs n swine, lest they trample you under there feet, turn and tear you into pieces!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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