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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1006)
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- August 2019
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Looking to bust through dissociative order

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:22 pm

Im talking more about what happened to me when young in groups; but its not enough to talk to women; Im still scared; I need the right women round me. I will ask God to bring the right people around me so I feel safe! I need nurturing women figures around me! Im not sure where to find them; I have to ask God to bring some to me! align with me on it! I need to use them as segregate mothers; so I can feel loved again!
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Im trying to work through the past! Its hard facing things that shut me down emotionally and mentally!
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I was thrown away when way to young to be able to deal with it! it shocked me and I never saw it coming; and that was the thrill and creation of the sociopaths; to use children then throw them away!
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Here I am; trying to let go of dis connection with the world; but Im not in the right environment to re connect! its to much for me! I have to work with God to be at the right places for connection again!
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I must grow again before I can have girlfriends; I have to get back the ability to be emotional again! to feel again and be present again! I must be these things to be with the right women and not the wrong ones! Something like that!
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Im working on positive feelings! and positive feelings toward women! its hard; very hard; I feel like Im going to be judged no matter what I do!
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I have to have a positie out look on things! This is so very hard! its crazy!
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Im trying to get a hold of my thinking and send it in a direction that I want! It seems truly hard; Im working on it!
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Im afraid of being laughed at by women! Im not sure where this came from; I have an idea its from my teenage years and before where their was no development!
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I need new people to associate with!
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I need better women associate with! Women that see my value!
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My goal is to face the losses of my childhood; accept them and what happened and move on! The problem is dissociation!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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